S1308
Hello hello, REC ZY Ng here. Things are not bad in army, not as scary as ben lee made it out to be. The bunks are ok, i can sleep at night albeit not enough, the PT is manageable except i still cannot do 20 regulation push ups properly, and my chin ups count is stagnant at 5, and most of all am most amused by the fact that everything in the army is a "chargeable offence". Plus BCCT lessons where you shout "yargh!" or "KILL!" and the many army songs which i hear in my head before i sleep and sing even on my book out day.
Thanks to all who wished me happy birthday on friday, it made a tough day of training feel better. 19 already, a full fledged adult.
Field camp next week. Uncontactable from next sat to fri, and won't be booking out next week. Will be back in time for chinese new year.
I think i should start looking for something outside of army once field camp ends.
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Happy birthday to me...(updated!)
Haha, just be a crazy off-chance anyone is enamoured enough with me to actually have a burning desire to buy me a birthday present, here's a list of stuff I would be most surprised and happy to receive. :) In all seriousness, this is more of a wish list of most frivolous of purchases that I would make and regret under the influence of enough whisky or having struck the first prize at 4D. In all likelihood, the tradition of my birthday going totally unnoticed save for my family shall go on. Besides, my present would most like be guard duty on the 14th. :D
1) Masterpiece Optimus Prime. The toy that makes grown man weak in the knees.
2) Any Manchester United stuff, but please don't give me mugs with departed players on them. (glares at enming)
3) A Transformers shirt, with a red Autobot insignia emblazoned on the front. I won't mind a Decepticon one though.
4) A PS2
5) Cash. Muahahaha
6) Anything Transformers related. I'll probably subject the giver to a great deal of fanboyism on receiving it.
7) Gundam SEED vcds/dvds, and SEED Destiny after that
8) Final Fantasy 7 for PC, then FF8, then FF12 for PS2
9) "God's in his heaven, all's right in this world" Lay off the second coming for a few more generations.
Hey a guy can dream, can he not?
Haha, just be a crazy off-chance anyone is enamoured enough with me to actually have a burning desire to buy me a birthday present, here's a list of stuff I would be most surprised and happy to receive. :) In all seriousness, this is more of a wish list of most frivolous of purchases that I would make and regret under the influence of enough whisky or having struck the first prize at 4D. In all likelihood, the tradition of my birthday going totally unnoticed save for my family shall go on. Besides, my present would most like be guard duty on the 14th. :D
1) Masterpiece Optimus Prime. The toy that makes grown man weak in the knees.
2) Any Manchester United stuff, but please don't give me mugs with departed players on them. (glares at enming)
3) A Transformers shirt, with a red Autobot insignia emblazoned on the front. I won't mind a Decepticon one though.
4) A PS2
5) Cash. Muahahaha
6) Anything Transformers related. I'll probably subject the giver to a great deal of fanboyism on receiving it.
7) Gundam SEED vcds/dvds, and SEED Destiny after that
8) Final Fantasy 7 for PC, then FF8, then FF12 for PS2
9) "God's in his heaven, all's right in this world" Lay off the second coming for a few more generations.
Hey a guy can dream, can he not?
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
The beast that cried "I" at the centre of the world
Dug this out from my computer while going through the crap I normally write. I think I wrote this for the buckley dramafeste in sec 4, and it got rejected twice, in sec 4 and in j1. I admit it has its flaws, with me as usual trying to get to the good parts quickly and not placing enough groundwork to anchor the story so it seems very rushed. But still, I'm quite proud of it, it remains the only script I ever written, and it's an obvious NGE rip-off. Read if you want.
Title: Saying “I”
(What if you had the power to save the earth, but did not want to use it?)
Characters: Father
Boy (Ben)
Guardian (Aunt Rita)
Nurses
Other boys
Scene 1
(2 nurses hunched over a bed, holding clipboards)
Nurse 1: (shakes head) We lost him.
N2: This plague is beyond belief. No antibiotic in modern science could wipe it out. It has already claimed a third of the world’s population.
N1: Unless we find a cure soon, the whole world will be infected.
(Father bursts in)
F: (loud voice) Gentleman, I believe the solution is at hand.
Scene 2
B: Morning, the beginning of today, the beginning of a bad day. I don't like that. Blue sky. Something warm, something unfamiliar, something horrible. Something useless. I don't like that.
(Walks despondently)
B: Well, one still lives on. I have been living with my guardian ever since my parents divorced. Before the custody hearings could be finished, my mum died in a car crash, so the court awarded custody to my father by default.
B: But my father never did wanted me. After the hearing he immediately dumped me with my guardian, and I have been living with her ever since. Until now….
(Holds up letter)
B: I wonder what he wants from me now. (contemplates for a second, before crushing the letter in fist, but slowly loosens grip)
Scene 3 (hospital)
N1: Is that him?
N2: (checks clipboard) Yes. Let’s get him ready.
(approaches)
N1: Are you Ben?
B: Huh? Oh yes.
N1: Please follow us. Your father sent us.
B: (shrugs) Ok.
N2: We need a sample of your blood. Can you please sit down here and wait for your father? He will be ready very soon. Hold still, that’s it. (holds up syringe of blood)
B: Err……excuse me.
N2: (distractedly) Yes?
B: Why did my father send for me?
N2: He didn’t tell you? It is because….
F: (stepping in and cutting in) Because you are my son.
B: (faces F) Father…
F: (waves nurse away) I want those results immediately. (N2 leaves room)
(Silence)
B: Why have you sent for me?
F: For an important reason.
B: So now I am important! What about the last 7 years? What was I? Lowest priority?
F: (Unfazed) I needed you, therefore I called for you.
B: Well. I don’t need you. I think I must be moving. (picks up bag) So much for a father-son reunion. (Throws letter on ground)
F: Typical.
(B stops in his tracks)
F: You are acting more and more like your hot-tempered mother. Don’t you want to know why I sent for you?
N2: (rushes in) Sir, it is positive. We have found the cure for the plague! His blood contains the necessary antibodies to combat it.
(B turns around slowly)
F: Now, do you still want to run away? Do you now realise the fate of many people lie in your hands? You alone have the ability to give the sick life again.
B: (takes a step back) Why…..me?
F: Because no one else can. (holding out his hand) I am proud of you.
(lights off)
(monologue)
Voice: Blood. The liquid of life. The liquid that allows to live our lives. To eke a miserable existence. To try desperately to make an impact before we are buried by the sands of time.
(lights flash liquid red)
V: The coppery taste. The brightness of its pallor. The viscosity of the crimson ichor drips like the very essence of our pitiful existence.
(lights stop)
V: Our decisions in life are never ours. We cannot control how the world works, we can only manipulate ourselves to it, living our lives out oblivious to most of the world. Our voices are drowned out by the bustle of cities, our footsteps disappearing as people walk over them. We are nothing but a statistic to most of them.
(single red light on B)
V: Until now, that is. (light fades) Would you let a 16-year-old control your future?
Scene 3
YB: Aunt Rita! I have cut myself!
R: (smiles and bends over) Let me see. It is only a small cut. Don’t worry, I will bandage it up for you.
YB: What is this red liquid Aunt Rita? (looks at it questioningly)
R: It is called blood. All of us have it. It is needed to keep us alive.
YB: (panics) Then we must stop it from escaping!
R: Don’t worry. Why don’t you suck on your wound while I get the bandage ready.
YB: (hesitatingly does so) It tastes….yucky.
R: That is the taste of blood.
(lights off, a loud thud is heard)
(B is on floor, another boy stands above him)
B2: I guess you are just not tough enough. Worthless little jerk! You fatherless freak! You have the gall to steal my girlfriend! It will be a cold day in hell before that happens!
(turns around to leave)
B: (touches forehead gingerly) Blood…
(sound of heartbeat)
(girls point at B in centre of circle)
G1: Is that him?
G2: Yes it must be.
G3: Who is he?
G4: I don’t know.
G1: Then why are we taking an interest in him.
G2: The fact that we don’t know him is the reason.
G3: Why?
G1: Imagine living your life with no friends, no one who would care whether you are here or not.
G4: Are you saying…
G2: Yes. A loner will always be a loner.
G3: Why are we wasting our time on him? It is not our problem, we have our own lives to live out, and I am pretty sure they do not revolve around him.
(sound of heartbeat amplifies)
B: What keeps me alive, will cause the death of me.
(lights off)
Scene 4
(living room)
R: Have you thought it over?
B: (distracted) huh?
R: Your father’s proposal. I am glad you have patched thing s up with him after so long.
B: (looking away distantly) right.
(lights on)
(a crying B has R restraining him, as F stands close)
R: Don’t worry, I will take care of him.
(F nods, and begins to leave)
B: Why are you leaving me Father?
(F just continues to walk, footsteps louder)
B: (being restrained by R) Why?
(flashback)
B: Why?
R: (silence, as she tries to avoid question)
B: Why all of the sudden he wants to meet me? He never wanted this son of his anyway.
R: Don’t say that. I am sure that he has reasons.
B: (agitated) Where was he all this time? Where was he when I needed him?
R: (looks into his eyes) I see fear in you, Ben. You fear your own father. You fear being rejected.
B: I…I….
R: Why don’t you go see him? I am sure that he has the answers you want. He is your father after all. There is no need to fear him.
(back to real time)
B: What should I do?
R: Do whatever you think is right.
B: I….I……am afraid of blood. Ever since then….
R: I know.
B: I don’t know what to do.
Scene 5
(monologue)
B: What I ever wanted was my Dad to show me, tell me that he needed me. To validate my existence. I have seen my friends, happy with their parents, while I return to a fatherless home everyday. But now, he has acknowledged my presence, my existence, in a way I don’t want, in a way that I feel that I have been exploited. I know he just wants my blood, not me as a person. To me I am merely a cure for the people. Isn’t it strange that a doctor who is desperately trying to seek a cure for mankind should neglect his own son.
B: Do I really want to save this selfish world? This world that has rejected me as a person, but accepted me as a statistic, a worker drone swept along by the tides of the higher-ups. Now, I hold the fate of every human being in my hand. (waves knife) I could be the hero, or I can be the villain. Either way, it does not matter, I have nothing to live for now, and I will still make an impact on this world.
(flashback)
(B finds R unconscious)
B: Aunt Rita! Are you okay? Wake up! Wake up! (wail of ambulance) (redlights and heartbeat)
V: She is just another victim. I am sorry.
(Monologue)
B: I have always yearned to be like my favourite superheroes, protecting the innocent and helping the needy. Now is my chance. This my chance to rise above the ranks of worker drones and take my place as the messiah of mankind, the one who delivered them from evil, the one who lighted their darkest hour. Yet…, I lack the courage to do so.
B: What if you had the power to save the world, and yet not use it? I shall now have to choose, the path of the hero, or the path of the coward?
F: (Coming in) Don’t do it!
B: You should talk of all people.
F: Don’t do it, Ben! Your destiny beckons you! You will be hero that saved everyone.
B: Unfortunately, history is still being written. My destiny is mine to control. And….(raises knife to neck) people love it more to see a hero fall…fail….die trying. I am not a hero. I am just a kid.
(lights flash brilliant red, the dim to darkness, heartbeat sound stop abruptly)
(in darkness)
N1: He could have saved all of us.
N2: Why didn’t he?
N1: He didn’t see the rationale, the reason to do so.
N2: Does that make him selfish?
N1: No.
N2: Then what is he?
N1: A boy with power he could not control, an adolescent saddled with a gift, a gifted person with a great burden.
N2: What is your point?
N1: Before you hate him, remember to look at oneself first.
(a loud resounding cough)
END
Dug this out from my computer while going through the crap I normally write. I think I wrote this for the buckley dramafeste in sec 4, and it got rejected twice, in sec 4 and in j1. I admit it has its flaws, with me as usual trying to get to the good parts quickly and not placing enough groundwork to anchor the story so it seems very rushed. But still, I'm quite proud of it, it remains the only script I ever written, and it's an obvious NGE rip-off. Read if you want.
Title: Saying “I”
(What if you had the power to save the earth, but did not want to use it?)
Characters: Father
Boy (Ben)
Guardian (Aunt Rita)
Nurses
Other boys
Scene 1
(2 nurses hunched over a bed, holding clipboards)
Nurse 1: (shakes head) We lost him.
N2: This plague is beyond belief. No antibiotic in modern science could wipe it out. It has already claimed a third of the world’s population.
N1: Unless we find a cure soon, the whole world will be infected.
(Father bursts in)
F: (loud voice) Gentleman, I believe the solution is at hand.
Scene 2
B: Morning, the beginning of today, the beginning of a bad day. I don't like that. Blue sky. Something warm, something unfamiliar, something horrible. Something useless. I don't like that.
(Walks despondently)
B: Well, one still lives on. I have been living with my guardian ever since my parents divorced. Before the custody hearings could be finished, my mum died in a car crash, so the court awarded custody to my father by default.
B: But my father never did wanted me. After the hearing he immediately dumped me with my guardian, and I have been living with her ever since. Until now….
(Holds up letter)
B: I wonder what he wants from me now. (contemplates for a second, before crushing the letter in fist, but slowly loosens grip)
Scene 3 (hospital)
N1: Is that him?
N2: (checks clipboard) Yes. Let’s get him ready.
(approaches)
N1: Are you Ben?
B: Huh? Oh yes.
N1: Please follow us. Your father sent us.
B: (shrugs) Ok.
N2: We need a sample of your blood. Can you please sit down here and wait for your father? He will be ready very soon. Hold still, that’s it. (holds up syringe of blood)
B: Err……excuse me.
N2: (distractedly) Yes?
B: Why did my father send for me?
N2: He didn’t tell you? It is because….
F: (stepping in and cutting in) Because you are my son.
B: (faces F) Father…
F: (waves nurse away) I want those results immediately. (N2 leaves room)
(Silence)
B: Why have you sent for me?
F: For an important reason.
B: So now I am important! What about the last 7 years? What was I? Lowest priority?
F: (Unfazed) I needed you, therefore I called for you.
B: Well. I don’t need you. I think I must be moving. (picks up bag) So much for a father-son reunion. (Throws letter on ground)
F: Typical.
(B stops in his tracks)
F: You are acting more and more like your hot-tempered mother. Don’t you want to know why I sent for you?
N2: (rushes in) Sir, it is positive. We have found the cure for the plague! His blood contains the necessary antibodies to combat it.
(B turns around slowly)
F: Now, do you still want to run away? Do you now realise the fate of many people lie in your hands? You alone have the ability to give the sick life again.
B: (takes a step back) Why…..me?
F: Because no one else can. (holding out his hand) I am proud of you.
(lights off)
(monologue)
Voice: Blood. The liquid of life. The liquid that allows to live our lives. To eke a miserable existence. To try desperately to make an impact before we are buried by the sands of time.
(lights flash liquid red)
V: The coppery taste. The brightness of its pallor. The viscosity of the crimson ichor drips like the very essence of our pitiful existence.
(lights stop)
V: Our decisions in life are never ours. We cannot control how the world works, we can only manipulate ourselves to it, living our lives out oblivious to most of the world. Our voices are drowned out by the bustle of cities, our footsteps disappearing as people walk over them. We are nothing but a statistic to most of them.
(single red light on B)
V: Until now, that is. (light fades) Would you let a 16-year-old control your future?
Scene 3
YB: Aunt Rita! I have cut myself!
R: (smiles and bends over) Let me see. It is only a small cut. Don’t worry, I will bandage it up for you.
YB: What is this red liquid Aunt Rita? (looks at it questioningly)
R: It is called blood. All of us have it. It is needed to keep us alive.
YB: (panics) Then we must stop it from escaping!
R: Don’t worry. Why don’t you suck on your wound while I get the bandage ready.
YB: (hesitatingly does so) It tastes….yucky.
R: That is the taste of blood.
(lights off, a loud thud is heard)
(B is on floor, another boy stands above him)
B2: I guess you are just not tough enough. Worthless little jerk! You fatherless freak! You have the gall to steal my girlfriend! It will be a cold day in hell before that happens!
(turns around to leave)
B: (touches forehead gingerly) Blood…
(sound of heartbeat)
(girls point at B in centre of circle)
G1: Is that him?
G2: Yes it must be.
G3: Who is he?
G4: I don’t know.
G1: Then why are we taking an interest in him.
G2: The fact that we don’t know him is the reason.
G3: Why?
G1: Imagine living your life with no friends, no one who would care whether you are here or not.
G4: Are you saying…
G2: Yes. A loner will always be a loner.
G3: Why are we wasting our time on him? It is not our problem, we have our own lives to live out, and I am pretty sure they do not revolve around him.
(sound of heartbeat amplifies)
B: What keeps me alive, will cause the death of me.
(lights off)
Scene 4
(living room)
R: Have you thought it over?
B: (distracted) huh?
R: Your father’s proposal. I am glad you have patched thing s up with him after so long.
B: (looking away distantly) right.
(lights on)
(a crying B has R restraining him, as F stands close)
R: Don’t worry, I will take care of him.
(F nods, and begins to leave)
B: Why are you leaving me Father?
(F just continues to walk, footsteps louder)
B: (being restrained by R) Why?
(flashback)
B: Why?
R: (silence, as she tries to avoid question)
B: Why all of the sudden he wants to meet me? He never wanted this son of his anyway.
R: Don’t say that. I am sure that he has reasons.
B: (agitated) Where was he all this time? Where was he when I needed him?
R: (looks into his eyes) I see fear in you, Ben. You fear your own father. You fear being rejected.
B: I…I….
R: Why don’t you go see him? I am sure that he has the answers you want. He is your father after all. There is no need to fear him.
(back to real time)
B: What should I do?
R: Do whatever you think is right.
B: I….I……am afraid of blood. Ever since then….
R: I know.
B: I don’t know what to do.
Scene 5
(monologue)
B: What I ever wanted was my Dad to show me, tell me that he needed me. To validate my existence. I have seen my friends, happy with their parents, while I return to a fatherless home everyday. But now, he has acknowledged my presence, my existence, in a way I don’t want, in a way that I feel that I have been exploited. I know he just wants my blood, not me as a person. To me I am merely a cure for the people. Isn’t it strange that a doctor who is desperately trying to seek a cure for mankind should neglect his own son.
B: Do I really want to save this selfish world? This world that has rejected me as a person, but accepted me as a statistic, a worker drone swept along by the tides of the higher-ups. Now, I hold the fate of every human being in my hand. (waves knife) I could be the hero, or I can be the villain. Either way, it does not matter, I have nothing to live for now, and I will still make an impact on this world.
(flashback)
(B finds R unconscious)
B: Aunt Rita! Are you okay? Wake up! Wake up! (wail of ambulance) (redlights and heartbeat)
V: She is just another victim. I am sorry.
(Monologue)
B: I have always yearned to be like my favourite superheroes, protecting the innocent and helping the needy. Now is my chance. This my chance to rise above the ranks of worker drones and take my place as the messiah of mankind, the one who delivered them from evil, the one who lighted their darkest hour. Yet…, I lack the courage to do so.
B: What if you had the power to save the world, and yet not use it? I shall now have to choose, the path of the hero, or the path of the coward?
F: (Coming in) Don’t do it!
B: You should talk of all people.
F: Don’t do it, Ben! Your destiny beckons you! You will be hero that saved everyone.
B: Unfortunately, history is still being written. My destiny is mine to control. And….(raises knife to neck) people love it more to see a hero fall…fail….die trying. I am not a hero. I am just a kid.
(lights flash brilliant red, the dim to darkness, heartbeat sound stop abruptly)
(in darkness)
N1: He could have saved all of us.
N2: Why didn’t he?
N1: He didn’t see the rationale, the reason to do so.
N2: Does that make him selfish?
N1: No.
N2: Then what is he?
N1: A boy with power he could not control, an adolescent saddled with a gift, a gifted person with a great burden.
N2: What is your point?
N1: Before you hate him, remember to look at oneself first.
(a loud resounding cough)
END
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
So be it
Heard this on the radio just now.
Scientists placed a wild shark in a tank of water seperated by a pane of thick glass. The sahrk was placed on one side, and fishes from its normal habitat which the shark normally eats are placed on the other side. Initially, the shark would continously try to get across the other side to eat the fishes, slamming itself against the glass constantly, but of course it failed. The shark does not starve though, as fishes that are different from the fishes on the other side are placed in the shark's side for it to feed on. Even though fishes are on its side for it to feed on, the shark would still try to get through the glass pane to feed on the fishes on the other side.
Eventually, after many days, the shark did not attempt to slam through the glass pane anymore. Instead it would just be content with eating the fishes on its side, ignoring fishes on the other side. The scientists then removed the glass pane. Incredibly, the shark never ventured beyond its original constrained area, still ate only the fishes in its area, and even if its prey escaped over to the other side, it would not chase after it to the other side.
What does this experiment tell us? There are of course many intepretations, but mine is that people are like the shark, and sometimes we just ram our thick skulls against that glass pane over and over and over again until it hurts so much that we stop. Initially we are confident of ramming through the barrier, but as the pain escalates we give up and become afraid, so much so when there's another similar situation we imagine that there's a barrier when there isn't and we are afraid of trying to ram through it when there actually isn't one. We become afraid of the pain that may come with it, so we begin to be afraid of trying. In the end we become shadows of what we truly can be.
Maybe another human impulse would be one to avoid getting hurt, be it physical or mental or emotional.
I hope that the hurt and the fear doesn't prevent me from trying again.
Or maybe it's just that I have a perverse desire to slam myself repeatedly on glass panes until I can taste blood in my mouth.
Heard this on the radio just now.
Scientists placed a wild shark in a tank of water seperated by a pane of thick glass. The sahrk was placed on one side, and fishes from its normal habitat which the shark normally eats are placed on the other side. Initially, the shark would continously try to get across the other side to eat the fishes, slamming itself against the glass constantly, but of course it failed. The shark does not starve though, as fishes that are different from the fishes on the other side are placed in the shark's side for it to feed on. Even though fishes are on its side for it to feed on, the shark would still try to get through the glass pane to feed on the fishes on the other side.
Eventually, after many days, the shark did not attempt to slam through the glass pane anymore. Instead it would just be content with eating the fishes on its side, ignoring fishes on the other side. The scientists then removed the glass pane. Incredibly, the shark never ventured beyond its original constrained area, still ate only the fishes in its area, and even if its prey escaped over to the other side, it would not chase after it to the other side.
What does this experiment tell us? There are of course many intepretations, but mine is that people are like the shark, and sometimes we just ram our thick skulls against that glass pane over and over and over again until it hurts so much that we stop. Initially we are confident of ramming through the barrier, but as the pain escalates we give up and become afraid, so much so when there's another similar situation we imagine that there's a barrier when there isn't and we are afraid of trying to ram through it when there actually isn't one. We become afraid of the pain that may come with it, so we begin to be afraid of trying. In the end we become shadows of what we truly can be.
Maybe another human impulse would be one to avoid getting hurt, be it physical or mental or emotional.
I hope that the hurt and the fear doesn't prevent me from trying again.
Or maybe it's just that I have a perverse desire to slam myself repeatedly on glass panes until I can taste blood in my mouth.
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