Thursday, November 27, 2003

A circle has only one side

Life is good. Seriously. I have learnt to be more contended nowadays.
Turned in my best performance today at training, beating andrew, amanda, joshua, edwin, 5-3, 5-1, 5-2, 5-1 and drew peiyi 4-4. But the price paid was not my soul to the devil but a blister on my 2nd finger.
O-prep is coming along fine, did the flag with yang qian, I only got the paint as I was really afraid of messing the thing up.
FFX2 is damm fun. Apart from the fact it is damm girly, it incoporates the FFT missions style quite nicely with the traditional FF style. The real time fighting is hard at first, but once you get used to it it's rather ok.
I'm sorry for being short here, just that I think blogging about things i cannot talk about is rather dangerous. I'll just leave it as that.
Over and out.

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

Flickering Lights

Weren't they here last year, the flowers of long ago lore,
Standing silently in that desolate field,
Letting the evening breeze tug them along,
Emotionless sentries of forgotten secrets.
The vast stretch of them,
Whiter than winter's snow,
Populating, thriving in that fertile triangle,
With grey, foreboding slabs of rock for company.
Peaceful it was in the day,
Tranquil it is at night.
Not a sound, save for the sounds of nature,
Of flora and fauna.
Those white sentries are gone now,
the stone slabs cease to intimidate another.
Now all that remains,
Are those who live
Six feet under.


I wrote something

Saturday, November 22, 2003

Hands clasped

Jonny Wilkinson does that all the time before he takes any penalty, and with that look of concentration, he dispatches the rugby ball effortlessly through the tall posts (most of the time anyway).
What a great day for sport. England wins the rugby world cup, with wilkinson scoring 3/4 of the points. I wonder if there is such thing as negative rugby, but nevertheless it was a great final, one of the best we would ever watch.
Another sporting success was Man Utd overcoming a plucky blackburn side 2-1. Although Man Utd took a 2-0 lead, blackburn must have thought, "since we're going to lose, might as well go at them" and they nearly got a draw. Man Utd were not at their best, but still a win is a win and I will not complain.
Bought FFX-2, just a bit of filler before FF12 comes.
Holidays have not been feeling like them, been running here to there to everywhere the past 6 days, tommorrow is a rest day before it starts all over again. I need to study for SAT, and I also still need to do some studying.
And the great plan needs to be implemented...
I'm reaching the end of my 01 life. A great sense of sadness will descend on me when I officially call an end to my scouting career. 01 has given me so much. It gave me a second chance when I got myself thrown out by swimming. It gave me great friends, the Guys TM, great memories, experiences. Interviewing the ventures, even those who didn't intend to come back had nothing but good comments about their 4 years. Sure, sometimes it was tough, and there were many a time I felt like hecking scouts, like at the end of sec 3 when job shadowing robbed me of an exco place. Yeah, but fortunately I still put my head down and went about my job, and well, I can't say I have been the best VVC, but I tried my best, I know that.
My only biggest regret is that sec 1 year in the wilderness being bitter and purposeless.
Oh well, 4 years is still invaluable.
Hell, I may be super biased here, but I still think 01 is the best CCA in RI.
But hey, 100 people can't be wrong right?

Friday, November 21, 2003

Somewhere I Belong

It has been a long time since I have been here to write things, better make some use of this blog.
THis whole week has been hectic, what with o-team preperation, job-shadowing and reccee. O-prep is fun but tiring, the dance looks good, even someone like me who has two left feet and feels inferior everytime jay does his stuff can do it. Slowly feeling my way around, still need to know the people there better. Good teamwork stems from good camederie.
Job-shadowing was a farce, all I did was to enter late, thanks to me missing the bustop and ending up at national stadium instead of beach road, then proceeded to listen to a lawyer who obviously did not prepare what she wanted to say. She kept talking in circles, so some of us used questions to focus the talk. In the end, I felt I was in NUS receiving a lecture, and I learnt only a few things more, nothing else. Still, anyone interested to go to a court to watch a court case? I wish to do so but hopefully not alone.
Reccee was fun, edwin and I had fun moving from one palce to another using the NEL, going to funny places like the s'pore insitute of science. Wanted to get a bear for vivien when we reached sengkang but the new stock had not come in. Disturbed adrian, eugen chiam and hanyan a bit, then left for lunch and i went home to slack.
Thoughts for the week so far:
- Sometimes closure is all we guys need
- I am going to hike to school on tues just as a practice for GTC
- I haven't studied for SAT
- This whole week is packed
- Try not to jeopardise your friend's happiness
- Too much knoledge can kill you
- I have been sleeping at 12-1 for the past week
- I have been telling myself to sleep early for the past week
- Training is good
- The Dutch crushed the scots 6-0, ruud is too good
- I still want to write something
- Family is going to thailand for vacation
- FF12!!!!!!!

Hopefully I can squeeze out some time and motivation to do homework, write something, just anything, and do all my miscellenous tasks before school starts.
Still holding on, I won't let you down.

Monday, November 17, 2003

Ubin Paradise

Sunday, the day I normally sleep in late and then frantically try to complete all my homework is now converted to a day of miscellenous activites. Today was a different sort of sunday, I dragged myself out of bed to meet up with the Guys TM to ro reccee pulau ubin, our spiritual second home.
Edwina nd I were early, thanks to the fact dad drove me to changi village. I love the quaint little suburb, where the food is delicious and everything seems much slower. The others finally came, and the first thing we did was to sample the food.
I had some wanton noodles, then we went to convienience stores to stock up on sustenance for our long journey. Jimmy was the classic joker, twirling a mentos stick in his had saying "mentos, the fresh-oops." as he dropped his stick. Then we finally boarded the ferry. (Ferry trip costs $2)
We proceeded to rent (in hindsight, very lousy) bicycles from a shop near the jetty. My seat was too small and it caused me a great deal of miscomfort. Add that to the fact that I chose my clothes unwisely it made for a potentially uncomfortable journey, which I coped with by adjusting my bum every 5 minutes.
The clouds were always amassing, and it threatened to rain every now and then. Mogilan was busy chasing cats and hyperthreading (whatever that means), LaU and ed were the cameramen, muru and jimmy were taking the map. I stumbled many a time, fearing a trip to my eternal rest, and resulted in most of them choosing to scream bloody murder for stopping in the middle of the road.
We did the usual routes, and every turn yielded a memory, like albert's attempt to crack an egg, the sandflies, the snady chicken curry caused by LaU, the prawn sign, the stoner's rock, the advance parties, the hut where gimyong slept against during lunch in sec 3, edwin's encounter with the scropion and many others.
After a few hours of biking, our butts got real sore and we left the island for greener pastures, namely home for me and LAN for the others.
To call ubin our 2nd spiritual home, I think it is more or less true.
A new week awaits me.

Saturday, November 15, 2003

Where this road unknown will take me...

The S paper results are out, and yeah, I didn't make it. No Ng Zhao Yang in caps on that list of names, indicating my failure in being able to pursue economics at S level.
I can still remember last year during GTC a morose cong han was telling us not to screw up our J1 year and take only 1 S paper, but now I've gone and trumped it by being a normal student.
It sure sounds like whining, when there is a significant number of students who are in the same situation as me. But then, life still goes on, I guess I just have to concentrate on my 4 core subjects then and siphon money off my parents for my further education.
It is times like these I wonder if I am really cut out in this system of ABCDEOFs where one off-day can send you tumbling into academic hell. Bertram is really the brightest in the household in terms of grades, so I guess it balances out his eldest brother's incompentence to beat systems.
I was right to scoff at suggestions that BBBC can take 2 s papers. Besides, I knew if I wanted to to take any S paper, I would take the subject I can pick up the textbook and not fall asleep in 5 minutes. Since econs was the only subject which had no draining effects on me, I chose it, but after scanning through the list, I know now that econs is really a hot choice. Well at least I tried.
What lies ahead for me? I hate to say it, but as much as I proclaim 20 years from now results don't mean a shit, we live for the moment and well frankly I feel like a second class student. I came here to fight with the elite and I failed.
But then, I'm not one to dwell too much on pass failures. I have failed too many times to know that brooding over them won't make things better, you will just wallow in self-pity and feel decidedly lousy. I deserve the marks I get, and I will live with the decisions I make.
I shall make sure my 4 core subjects are solid as a rock come prelims next year, and whatever free time will be used to read up on law. This path may be harder to take, but if it leads me to where I want to go, I hope I see you too, my friends, at the finishing line.

Friday, November 14, 2003

Everything and anything

Just a slight warning. Below is pure unadulterated crap. Read at your own risk.

Every once in a while, I feel like slamming some faceless organisation for their incompentence in certain areas. Today, I like to talk about Disney.
I'm sure Uncle Walt is now turning uneasily in his grave, as Disney is now floundering in the debt, with their amusement parks earning less and less, and the american dream it actively exported of never never land is crumbling thanks to bush. Recently, while channel surfing, I came across a Disney special proclaiming to the world that the lion king special edition dvd is being released, with digital remastering and new versions of the songs. Which made me wonder, why all the effort for a dvd? Then it hit me. The lion king was the last disney movie to actually make a profit. The later movies like atlantis, treasure planet and the assorted sugary stuff they came up with failed. Even with a change in direction, with more dark and intense tones in their movies failed to right the sinking ship eg. Titan A.E.
Well, I guess disney had it coming, it failed to see the change in consumer tastes, but they have started to wise up and change marketing strategies, the linking up pixar was a very good idea, finding nemo won over some detractors, and by releasing its characters for squaresoft to do kingdom hearts with was a great idea, even if it meant that mickey mouse was the final boss (horror of horrors. a final boss who is not even scary.)
They may be hope for disney yet.
On a seperate note, metro was fun, albeit to a lesser extent this time, cos the number of people were pathetically little. Sold very few bears, and the interesting part was I had to babysit a toddler, who ran all over the store while the mother filled up the contest form. She lend me across the lingerie section, and all the while i was trying to coax her back to her mom with the bear.
Next 2 days are dedicated to scouts, so I guess sleep is in order. Shall talk about my trip to ubin on sun when it passes.

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Two guys, a McPepper and 2 hours to kill

Like the title suggests, edwin and I had an intellectual discussion in macs over the fairer sex. He asked me why there are 2 different genders. I told him for procreation and diversity.
What a great way to waste 2 hours just talking cock about the fun scout times we had, and the weird opinions that edwin has about the opposite sex which I shall refrain from saying here. Something about asking where the toilets are.
Been a hectic few days, what with PW ending its reign of terror, o-prep banner painting which alina got me painted red and everyone thought I was bleeding, presentation which I sputtered through the first part before finding my rhythm and ending it off well. Boon Seer lit up the presentation with her antics as usual. Boon Kwan had me choking on water when he did the impersonation of the host of TAR by saying "the first team to arrive will win the race". It was good to see jason back and healthy, and as usual sing yong and keng piang were goofing off by changing the name of the tape I passed to esther.
Neil brought the PS2 to my house again, but somehow all desire to play it was sort of drained out of me when I picked up the controller. Good thing I guess, makes me concentrate on my activities.
Got trashed during training. Sighz. Will work harder.
Another long day awaits. Need my sleep.
Till next time.

Sunday, November 09, 2003

Third Renaissance

Yes, it is my third time changing my layout, hope you guys like it.
I need someone to teach me how to change the drag menu options, so for now the links are down.
Enjoy the midi and I'll be back to make things all ok soon.
Narvas

Someone who knows sanskrit please help me translate that. That is the title of the song that is played during the credits of revolutions.
The revolutions soundtrack is great, on par with the reloaded soundtrack. Don Davis is a very talented composer. And I finally found the track they played during neo's fight with smith at the subway in the first movie. Neodammerung is also nice, played during the "super burly brawl" ie the mid air face-off between neo and smith.
Oh yah, and mogilan stop stealing my revolutions inspired nicks.
The movie may have been disappointing, at least to me, but the soundtrack makes up for it. By aside from these two tracks I have yet to find 1 I like as well. I liked all 8 scores from the reloaded soundtrack.
Ok, just a slight update on things.
Thursday, last day of school, mucked PW around for a while and then we were finally released to go to lido and catch revolutions. I was very anxious to get there early and get tickets, because alina said she overheard someone saying lido, cineleisure and PS all sold out. I was intending to catch a later show in that case, so I could go home first then return later.
In the end, after short 7 ride (finally convinced the class once that 7 is faster than 111) we reached lido. I held my breath and entered and saw... practically no one. So much for sold out. Most of the morning shows were rather empty, but in the end we settled for a 1245 showing and had lunch.
Oh yah winston, sing yong, sharon, esther and zhong wei took turns to use up my discman's batteries, so I didn't have a chance to listen to my own discman. Cheek keong, winston and myself went to borders to browse a bit, and winston was hovering around the self-help section for all the wrong reasons.
We returned to watch the movie. There was a mini-drama just before the movie started as esther forgot to bring her GPF along, and had to rush out to get it, much to winston's relief.
Well, you know my thoughts about the movie, so let's move on. I left them after the movie, and went home to play a bit of MZ2, trying to gain all the EX skills now. Was ruminating about the ending for sometime.
The next day, Friday, didn't start off too well. I had a dream of someone telling me that my handphone's ringtone, the RI/RJ ringtone is incomplete. I said yah that's true. However, when I finally woke up with a jolt, because I remembered that I had to be in school at 8 and it was already 820. And on my handphone was 1 missed call, and it was by mrs toh.
Again my ringtone was part of a lucid dream. It happened a lot of times with the to zanarkand ringtone as my dad used to call me to wake me up if he is sending my brothers to school in the morning. FFX inspired dreams were common during those times.
Anyways, muttered a string of curses at myself while changing, and went downstairs to call mrs toh. Surprisingly, she sounded much too cheerful and accepted my explanation, while warning me no to do it again. In any case, I went over to school to help lindy with the november issue layout. It was frustrating to work with the ancient, and hopelessly slow computers. Had to restrain myself from pounding the machines to bits (and thus starting the second Renaissance, if you catch my drift) Finally did as much as I could, then had to leave for the optician.
HAd soem lunch at ghim moh, before proceeding to chinatown station. Terence saw me in my home clothes and asked me "pa tuo ah? (going on a date?)".
Sheesh, just because I wear my home clothes doesn't mean I am going on a date. Having said that, it is probably because of the fact I hardly go out. Hmmz....
Anyway, reaching chinatown, found the optician after some difficulty, and asked him to check my spectacles for me. the left lenses has weird patches on them, like oil was smeared on them. No amount of rubbing could remove it. I was ready to choose a new frame for my glasses when the optician said,
"Ok, 2 days later collect your glasses."
"Huh? No need to change frame?"
"No need. Did you bring your spare glasses or contacts?"
Well, I think you sorta know what was the answer. In the end, I had to take the NEL line to dhoby ghaut, change to NS line, then walk hoem from orchard. With my 900 degree eyesight. Having said that, when my glasses are off, I rely less on sight and more on other senses, so it sort of compensates and I got home safely, after which my mum chided me for being reckless. Well, I retorted, I'm home in 1 piece right? She had no answer to that.
Saturday, worn school uniform to meet the guys TM at orchard for a while, before disppearing to sengkang via the NEL. Metro CIP was ok, something like stationary jobweek and the donors stand to gain more from it. All I did was repeat,
"Good morning/afternoon ma'm/sir, would you like to make a donation to help disadvantaged children in vietnam? any amount will do. If you donate you are entitled to a free christmas bear and $300 worth of vouchers which you can use i metro."
or something along those lines. I must say it was a rather interesting experience, with brenda's clock-watching, the lousy selection of food at compass point (i had to eat macs, and you know my stance on fast food/cardboard), punch cards for in and out and ling ling pressing the wrong buttons.
I can spilt the donors to 4 types. 1, the look away even though I'm talking to them type, 2, the look at me and smile apologetically and say no type, 3, the at first not so interested to donate type, but in the end after some hard sell they will donate, and 4, the very enthusiatic types who come up to you directly and donate.
To all potential donors, please fall under types 2-4, if you don't want to donate just say so, some courtesy would be fine. I would always say thank you loudly to them who walk away just to shame them.
Among donors there are types as well, the cheapskate, which gives only a rather small amount for the things they get in return, the normal types, which donate moderate amounts, and the very generous, who give like $50, and the kind ones which do not want anything in return. There was one pregnant lady who gave $50 in 5 $10 dollars notes.
I found out the best way to "attack" the people is target those with young children by enticing them with the bear. Apparently, according to 1 customer, the bears were sold out in paragon, and she had to come all the way here just to get a bear. I find that hard to believe a bit, since we only started yesterday.
My shift ended at 4, alvin came to take over, and I made my way hoem alone as brenda and ling ling stayed back to shop at metro. Got a bear for vivien before I left.
Bored to death at home, in truth, completed all my games, and the allure of replaying MZ2 is waning. Neil is bringing the playstation over on monday, which is good, finally some real games.
Need to set aside some time to do homework, before I forget everything and O-team devours my free time.
Life today (saturday) had an interview with anthony horowitz. Go read his alex rider series. Great stuff. ANd now I know he is mad. He actually climbed a crane just to research the starting of book 2, where alex uses a crane to fish up a boat with drug makers inside it, intending to drop it it he police compound. It hleps that he punctuates his books with great one-liners, like when the boat hook snapped and the boat dropped into the home minister's office, the person who found him in the crane's seat sputtered,"Do you have any idea what you just did?"
I love this punchline. The main character, alex just shrugged and said, "I was just working on the crime figures. And I figured there has been a drop."
Ok enough rambling. Contacts are killing my eyes. Will redo my blog soon, as the end has been reached already.
And yah, the issue over the concerts have to resolved...
The feeling in my eyes must be how dinobot felt when he blasted the golden disk in "code of hero", one of the best episodes in american animation which is sadly in very bad state now. Beaten to near destruction, he still summoned enough energy to blast the disc to pieces using his eye lasers, and thus sacrificing himself.
In my opinion he just went all the way just to go out ina blaze of glory to redeem himself for switching sides earlier in the season. In any case, it was a powerful episode, which unfortuantely many people do not watch. So far I only knwo that boon kwan, mogilan and DC have watched beast wars. Sad but true.
It is late, I shall now rest my pen, and continue the next time.
(Bad translation, Iknow)

Thursday, November 06, 2003

Dissecting me

First of all, for the record, I am disappointed with revolutions. No doubt they ended the trilogy, but it stinks of a cop-out to the loyal fans. Oh well, life goes on.
The following entry was inspired by Quanhan, and most of the credit goes to him for helping me to articulate what I want to say.
It has come to the time of the year that I wish to evaluate myself over my actions and behaviours.
I guess this schooling year has been a tough and mindset-changing year, primarily because I was thrust into unknown territory after leaving the safe enclave of RI. I stumbled through the year at first, feeling down once in a while, but after I got into the scheme of things, I gradually found my way.
In this testing year, I think I have improved in many ways of myself.
I wish not to elaborate on them, as I feel let bygones be bygones, and everyday I am still learning to be a better person.
When this year finally comes to pass, I will look back at the night we spent at brandon’s house, trashing it upside down, having a fun time during orientation, planning RIO, palawan, SUTC “fun”, SARS coming to mess everything up, annual camp, campfire which was a real real blast (and I was one of the stars of the show), pesta sukan, then finally promos. Of course, the year hasn’t really ended, and these holidays mark one of the more interesting routes I am about to embark on.
It has been a trying year with many us as well as downs, but that’s behind me. All that concern me are the lessons learnt from them and how I can apply them to the future activities and to avoid making the same mistakes.
Overall, I’m still the comic book, transformers, anime and rockman (megaman) fanboy. I am still the scout. I am still the flamboyant but irreverent writer. I am still what essential is me.
But then, wisdom is only gained through experiences, and I have had a lot of them this year.

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

Please, just let it be over...

School is really becoming a drag these few days. Thankfully tommorrow is the last day, and after that I shall have a short breather before plunging into my various activities.
Woke up early this morning to watch man u teach a footballing lesson to rangers by comprehensively defeating them 3-0. Forlan, van Nistelrooy and Keane were outstanding.
But as a result of that, I woke up late and had to rush in vain to school. Needless to say mrs toh wasn't very happy with me.
Been reading 7 habits of effective teenagers, a good read, despite my classmates claim self-help books are a waste of time. I tend to agree, but hell if i needed to apply those skills now, then I would have been suffering from PR breakdown for a long time already.
Looking forward to revolutions, I need to know if I was right in guessing the end.
For some destressing, go read the myriad of confessions in http://grouphug.us/ , some are really sad but good time-waster if you have some to waste.
Good luck to all those taking AO subjects, plus the sec 4s taking the O's.
Holidays are here, or are they....

Sunday, November 02, 2003

Wet behind my ears

Saturday was a hectic day. Got chauffeured to RJ by dad to attend a 6 man training session. Did a little PT, sparred with amanda and steph. Hit the exact spot on her thigh where she has a bruise, or so she claims. The clock struck ten, they had to go for the metro briefing, which I gave a miss to head towards RI with albert.
Had an intellecutal discussion with albert on 156, then we reached RI and saw... no J1s. A bit peeved, I whiled the time away playing carom. My skills are so rusty that I will get lockjaw immediately if I cut myself with them. Mogilan and LaU eventually came, and we proceeded to the junior block for photo-taking. After some minutes of organising, we got the photos done and we broke for lunch.
Or so I thought. Tried to go columbarium (sp?) for lunch, only to be turned away by the security guard. So I had to settle for toasted bread, and a bandung drink which was dispensed with no straw. Had to cut a holew ith the den's scissors to drink it.
1330, the SU reassembled, and we trooped off to the swimming pool, which we had to share with the RJ polo people. We had the competitive events first, and I had the first swim in one and a half years. I realised that I do enjoy swimming after all. Let's not go there. My love-hate relationship with swimming needs a entry by itself.
Eagle won the competitive events eventually, and my swimming was rusty as well. Played polo after that, still love the game, but got tired very easily. Pulled my left calf, and had to pull out for a while. The irony was, after that 4 other J1s had cramp as well. The evils of promos have yet to be shakened off. Thanks to all the J1s who helped in making splish splash a sucess, the first activity I help organise sicne orientation. Thanks to aaron for being a great help in co-planning.
Mogilan and LaU were lubbing the SU in water rugby, so much so Brandon had red marks on his chest. Oh yah, the guys were admiring the lifeguard's 8 pack. And we took a "combined schools' swim team photo" LaU, I want a copy.
We cleared the pool at around 4, but by then the dark clouds were looming. After grabbing our stuff from the den, we headed for home, but the heavens opened and water poured forth. We were all drenched, the flimsy limited urmbrellas we had were no match for the tempest. I had chosen a convveinient time to forget to bring my urmbrella. At the traffic crossing, once the green man came on, i made a mad dash for shelter. Alvin, the King of Kings, walked slowly in the rain with no shelter at all, soaking himself totally. And he also killed his phone in the process, which he fortunately fixed it by drying it under a fan for 3 hours.
We sought shelter at S-11, and we tried our best to dry ourselves and ordered food and hot drinks. I had a hot horlicks, most of the rest ahd ban mian which i was tempted to have as well, but remembered there was food waiting for me at home. Sipped my horlicks, then I dialled home asking for a ride, but instead got an unsympathetic and sacrastic reply from mum about wanting to drive my rain gear over for me to go home in them. Oh well, I guess I deserve it.
The rain stopped in the end, brought my soggy self home and rested. Watched a bit of football, saw Forlan score a nice volley, before bringing the curtain down a very tiring day.
Sunday was reasonably relaxed, woke up slightly earlier, 9 ( i normally wake up at 1030 due to my late nights) Played Megaman Zero 2, it is living up to its bill of "the game u want to just stomp on" for its insane difficulty.
PW group came over, they tasted my mum's food, and we just went through the dry run stuff. They left as soon as they came, and I went to play a bit of halo and WC3.
Dinner was leftover lasagne from lunch, and after it had to work on presentation.
Thought of the weekend: If you organise something, try to keep your sanity. No use losing it when you will be needing it more later.
Looking forward to revolutions.
Everything that has a beginning has an end.

Saturday, November 01, 2003

Checkpoint

Just some stuff to blog about.
OH. Was kinda fun, but in the end I found the idea of dressing the school up in gaudy colours rather gives one the wrong impression of RJC. Still, it fufilled its purpose, and all the times I spent moving boards and tables and chairs were not wasted. Was going crazy by the end of it and started speaking like an indonesian maid to hanyan. Yeah thanks to all the people helping me, shiming hanyan gideon and many others.
Results. BBBC. No A for maths, B3 for GP, deserve it because i was cocky. Hope for S paper relies on econs only. I will not subject myself to academic torture doing a S paper of a subject I don't like. Even if it means taking only 1 S paper. Like mum said, they usually don't give scholarships for law. And for every ronald tong there are at least 30 shets, so I don't mind being a shet. I don't want to make myself so miserable just for a scholarship, not worth in my opinion.
All I want is just something I can never have.
But hey, I'm contended now, so yeah, let's leave the sadness when it's due.
Sleep beckons.
( This entry is a bit off i know. Must change it another day)