Where this road unknown will take me...

The S paper results are out, and yeah, I didn't make it. No Ng Zhao Yang in caps on that list of names, indicating my failure in being able to pursue economics at S level.
I can still remember last year during GTC a morose cong han was telling us not to screw up our J1 year and take only 1 S paper, but now I've gone and trumped it by being a normal student.
It sure sounds like whining, when there is a significant number of students who are in the same situation as me. But then, life still goes on, I guess I just have to concentrate on my 4 core subjects then and siphon money off my parents for my further education.
It is times like these I wonder if I am really cut out in this system of ABCDEOFs where one off-day can send you tumbling into academic hell. Bertram is really the brightest in the household in terms of grades, so I guess it balances out his eldest brother's incompentence to beat systems.
I was right to scoff at suggestions that BBBC can take 2 s papers. Besides, I knew if I wanted to to take any S paper, I would take the subject I can pick up the textbook and not fall asleep in 5 minutes. Since econs was the only subject which had no draining effects on me, I chose it, but after scanning through the list, I know now that econs is really a hot choice. Well at least I tried.
What lies ahead for me? I hate to say it, but as much as I proclaim 20 years from now results don't mean a shit, we live for the moment and well frankly I feel like a second class student. I came here to fight with the elite and I failed.
But then, I'm not one to dwell too much on pass failures. I have failed too many times to know that brooding over them won't make things better, you will just wallow in self-pity and feel decidedly lousy. I deserve the marks I get, and I will live with the decisions I make.
I shall make sure my 4 core subjects are solid as a rock come prelims next year, and whatever free time will be used to read up on law. This path may be harder to take, but if it leads me to where I want to go, I hope I see you too, my friends, at the finishing line.