"Where was the miracle you promised me?"
Ultimately, the reality was that we lost.
It doesn't matter that it was the closest we ever came to beating them in 5 years.
It doesn't matter that we cheered our hearts out.
It doesn't matter that we were camped near their line for 30 mins.
It doesn't matter that their supporters were jeering at us.
It doesn't matter that they used time-wasting tactics.
It.
Dosen't.
Matter.
At.
All.
We lost.
Bravely yes, but we lost.
The saddest thing of life is that no one remembers the other finalist.
But nevertheless, I salute the team.
They gave it their all, and we do not blame them one bit.
They fought like hell, tried their best.
I came that day looking for a miracle.
They made me realise, that a miracle is not something that one hopes for. Instead miracles are created by man, and those who believe in miracles happening, are those too weak to create their own.
At the end of the day, we lost.
Yes, we did lose.
But only academically, not spiritually.
To sum it all up, I can only say this.
"Raffles didn't lose, they just ran out of time."
Saturday, May 31, 2003
Thursday, May 29, 2003
This is...me?
I think I am scizo. The online me is totally different from my real life persona...While blogging I just blurt everything out, my frustrations, thoughts, feelings, things I normally keep bottled in me in school. I see things that bother me, hear things that are unsavoury, feel things that revolt me, but sometimes I just know even though how painfully obvious somethings are, I just refuse to say it out loud lest I offend someone.
Sighz, my self-restraint is off these few days. I know there is a certain amount of tact needed to deal with people, and sometimes I get too friendly with them that I forget sometiems people do still get offended. I must exercise more self-restraint. All to those who were offended, I apologise but the reason why I made those callous remarks is because I knew you guys well. Take for example murugan, I call him "stupid indian" all the time and use all the insults that were ever thrown at dark-skinned people on him. But it is always in the name of fun and I never mean any harm.
Yeah, I know I come across as aloof at times, just that sometimes I tend to go overboard at times, but I never mean it. It I really meant it, I would make absolutely certain you got the idea.
I think I am scizo. The online me is totally different from my real life persona...While blogging I just blurt everything out, my frustrations, thoughts, feelings, things I normally keep bottled in me in school. I see things that bother me, hear things that are unsavoury, feel things that revolt me, but sometimes I just know even though how painfully obvious somethings are, I just refuse to say it out loud lest I offend someone.
Sighz, my self-restraint is off these few days. I know there is a certain amount of tact needed to deal with people, and sometimes I get too friendly with them that I forget sometiems people do still get offended. I must exercise more self-restraint. All to those who were offended, I apologise but the reason why I made those callous remarks is because I knew you guys well. Take for example murugan, I call him "stupid indian" all the time and use all the insults that were ever thrown at dark-skinned people on him. But it is always in the name of fun and I never mean any harm.
Yeah, I know I come across as aloof at times, just that sometimes I tend to go overboard at times, but I never mean it. It I really meant it, I would make absolutely certain you got the idea.
I wish...
I wish... I don't know what to wish for...
One of my friends asked me what would I do if I had 1 wish. I told him I wanted infinite wishes.
But in all seriousness, I never really wished for a lot of things, maybe just these below.
1) A PS2 with 10 games of my choice
2) A better phone, 7210 would be nice
3) All the Dreamwave Transformers comics
4) Complete DVD set of Beast Wars season 1-3
5) A damm funky and ligth Deuter backpack for hiking
And some rather unrealistic wishes:
1) A confidant...
2) A trip to Old Trafford (i'll go there eventually though)
3) The ability to read minds (rather useful)
4) The ability to work at 100% capacity with minimal sleep
5) Cure my insecurity when in a crowd
Yeah...hope they come true
I wish... I don't know what to wish for...
One of my friends asked me what would I do if I had 1 wish. I told him I wanted infinite wishes.
But in all seriousness, I never really wished for a lot of things, maybe just these below.
1) A PS2 with 10 games of my choice
2) A better phone, 7210 would be nice
3) All the Dreamwave Transformers comics
4) Complete DVD set of Beast Wars season 1-3
5) A damm funky and ligth Deuter backpack for hiking
And some rather unrealistic wishes:
1) A confidant...
2) A trip to Old Trafford (i'll go there eventually though)
3) The ability to read minds (rather useful)
4) The ability to work at 100% capacity with minimal sleep
5) Cure my insecurity when in a crowd
Yeah...hope they come true
Wednesday, May 28, 2003
"We are Med." 'Nuff said.
Yes yes, for all those who saw me embarrass myself today, yeah go ahead and laugh. Although I know most of you said YOU are mad instead of we, but I really appreciate it as you guys actually shouted. My greatest fear was that I would shout and no one would follow, but thankfully not. Yeah a big thanks to all those who contributed some noise...
Seriously it was not my idea, it was pam's...
Why did I take up the cheer i/c portfolio? Well in a nutshell, velda took the PRO post I wanted and she cunningly told me to take up the cheer i/c post. In any case, I wanted a change and a challenge. I was never very supportive of House activities in RI, now you ask me to be the most enthusiatic person and cheer wildly, a bit hard, but I'll try. When I first pondered about the post, I wondered if I did the right thing. But still I believe that I am starting to believe in Faction, thanks to pam's infectious enthusiam.
Enter The Matrix is damm zai. The first mission is already a pulsating adrenaline rush...and when you finally meet an Agent it really makes me scared...
On the up side, GP common test was quite ok, the first seven questions of the comprehension was rather easy, then came the double whammy of the summary and free-response question...
Yes, I am in charge of med fac cheerleading. All those med fac girls and guys interested can look for me...or post on the tag board. (Can the Guys TM don't vandalise my tagboard...) Yeah, now excuse me as I watch Bring It On to gain knowledge on cheerleading.
It was a joke if you did not get it...
Yes yes, for all those who saw me embarrass myself today, yeah go ahead and laugh. Although I know most of you said YOU are mad instead of we, but I really appreciate it as you guys actually shouted. My greatest fear was that I would shout and no one would follow, but thankfully not. Yeah a big thanks to all those who contributed some noise...
Seriously it was not my idea, it was pam's...
Why did I take up the cheer i/c portfolio? Well in a nutshell, velda took the PRO post I wanted and she cunningly told me to take up the cheer i/c post. In any case, I wanted a change and a challenge. I was never very supportive of House activities in RI, now you ask me to be the most enthusiatic person and cheer wildly, a bit hard, but I'll try. When I first pondered about the post, I wondered if I did the right thing. But still I believe that I am starting to believe in Faction, thanks to pam's infectious enthusiam.
Enter The Matrix is damm zai. The first mission is already a pulsating adrenaline rush...and when you finally meet an Agent it really makes me scared...
On the up side, GP common test was quite ok, the first seven questions of the comprehension was rather easy, then came the double whammy of the summary and free-response question...
Yes, I am in charge of med fac cheerleading. All those med fac girls and guys interested can look for me...or post on the tag board. (Can the Guys TM don't vandalise my tagboard...) Yeah, now excuse me as I watch Bring It On to gain knowledge on cheerleading.
It was a joke if you did not get it...
Saturday, May 24, 2003
All alone in a crowd
I am here to clear a major misconception about me.
Yes, I live near Orchard road, just a stone's throw from Borders.
But NO, I am not rich.
Everytime I board a train or bus with someone, the conversation will go along these lines somewhat.
Friend (F): Where are you going?
Me (M): Home.
F: Where are you stopping?
M: Orchard
F: You live in Orchard? You must be very rich/You are very lucky/Do you go there everyday?
Let me correct all these misconceptions.
1) I am not rich. This I know for a fact and most of you know how stingy I am. Especially how i love to scavenge stuff from the LTs.
2) Me lucky? I don't think so. I do not think so. To me Orchard is just a soul-less place where people just go there for the sake of going there. I don't really see the need to go there.
3) Seriously I only go there if I need to borrow some books from library@orchard.
And only a few people know how I dislike Orchard road. I have my own reasons. For one, it is just a place to buy things. Since I am not an avid shopper and Orchard road has a deficeit of pirated games shops, I prefer to stay at home. Secondly, if I need to get a meal, I need to trek all the way to Wisma to buy mcdonalds which tastes like cardboard. I prefer to walk down in my flip-flops to buy some char kuay teow from the hawker centre nearby, if I were to live in a housing estate.
So there. Now all of you know what I am going to say so there is no need to ask that question. Although I must admit it is a good conversation starter...
I am here to clear a major misconception about me.
Yes, I live near Orchard road, just a stone's throw from Borders.
But NO, I am not rich.
Everytime I board a train or bus with someone, the conversation will go along these lines somewhat.
Friend (F): Where are you going?
Me (M): Home.
F: Where are you stopping?
M: Orchard
F: You live in Orchard? You must be very rich/You are very lucky/Do you go there everyday?
Let me correct all these misconceptions.
1) I am not rich. This I know for a fact and most of you know how stingy I am. Especially how i love to scavenge stuff from the LTs.
2) Me lucky? I don't think so. I do not think so. To me Orchard is just a soul-less place where people just go there for the sake of going there. I don't really see the need to go there.
3) Seriously I only go there if I need to borrow some books from library@orchard.
And only a few people know how I dislike Orchard road. I have my own reasons. For one, it is just a place to buy things. Since I am not an avid shopper and Orchard road has a deficeit of pirated games shops, I prefer to stay at home. Secondly, if I need to get a meal, I need to trek all the way to Wisma to buy mcdonalds which tastes like cardboard. I prefer to walk down in my flip-flops to buy some char kuay teow from the hawker centre nearby, if I were to live in a housing estate.
So there. Now all of you know what I am going to say so there is no need to ask that question. Although I must admit it is a good conversation starter...
Thursday, May 22, 2003
"He is still only human."
Yup. I am no superman. As much as i like to think so, i am not. There are limits to me, most of them physical, a minority are mental.
I am seriously wondering if i really meant it when i told pam, "You do not need to believe in something to do it well." I likened the situation in med fac to doing homework, i don't like doing it, but i still do it and get most of it correct. This was what i meant, i think. I hope she didn't get the wrong idea about me being a slacker...muhahaha
I can't seem to make up my mind about myself. For a fact, I know I am not much of a people person, and my tendency to think too much prevents me from trusting people too easily, and people seem to distance themselves from me (again this could be due to me thinking too much) I really think of myself as someone you would come to if you need help, but you won't to me if you need a friend.
Sighz, it seems only work actually makes me happy, work as in doing things other than homework. Like scouts stuff, which i really like.
Still can remember the annoymous person who came online and told me to be more friendly and less cocky... sighz seriously I sometimes don't know what i did wrong. If you are unhappy with me tell me to my face, I prefer that. There is no need to use proxies or middlemen to tell me.
I seriously wonder what I do wrong. Possibly due to the fact I have different interests from other people (who else likes Transfromers?) and the fact I do not know how to handle people.
I am seriously not happy with this part of me. I can talk to guys quite ok, it is girls that is slightly tricky...wonder if 10 years in single-sex schools and a lack of communicating to females my age during the 10 years had anything to do with it...(for your info, this is no exaggeration)
Yeah, but I don't let the problem worry me too much. Sure it is rather lonely going home myself, but I have always been the lone swordsman, and I still have my circle of very good friends, so this gives me the platform to try and figure out my mistakes...
My motto when things need to be done: If you just talk about it, what you want won't happen. Even if you screw it up, you can learn from experience. Sometimes the lessons learnt are harsh and would go away so quickly, but no problem will last forever. So get up and get cracking.
Yup. I am no superman. As much as i like to think so, i am not. There are limits to me, most of them physical, a minority are mental.
I am seriously wondering if i really meant it when i told pam, "You do not need to believe in something to do it well." I likened the situation in med fac to doing homework, i don't like doing it, but i still do it and get most of it correct. This was what i meant, i think. I hope she didn't get the wrong idea about me being a slacker...muhahaha
I can't seem to make up my mind about myself. For a fact, I know I am not much of a people person, and my tendency to think too much prevents me from trusting people too easily, and people seem to distance themselves from me (again this could be due to me thinking too much) I really think of myself as someone you would come to if you need help, but you won't to me if you need a friend.
Sighz, it seems only work actually makes me happy, work as in doing things other than homework. Like scouts stuff, which i really like.
Still can remember the annoymous person who came online and told me to be more friendly and less cocky... sighz seriously I sometimes don't know what i did wrong. If you are unhappy with me tell me to my face, I prefer that. There is no need to use proxies or middlemen to tell me.
I seriously wonder what I do wrong. Possibly due to the fact I have different interests from other people (who else likes Transfromers?) and the fact I do not know how to handle people.
I am seriously not happy with this part of me. I can talk to guys quite ok, it is girls that is slightly tricky...wonder if 10 years in single-sex schools and a lack of communicating to females my age during the 10 years had anything to do with it...(for your info, this is no exaggeration)
Yeah, but I don't let the problem worry me too much. Sure it is rather lonely going home myself, but I have always been the lone swordsman, and I still have my circle of very good friends, so this gives me the platform to try and figure out my mistakes...
My motto when things need to be done: If you just talk about it, what you want won't happen. Even if you screw it up, you can learn from experience. Sometimes the lessons learnt are harsh and would go away so quickly, but no problem will last forever. So get up and get cracking.
The burden of the world rests on the shoulders of one person. But he didn;t want to be a hero. He just wanted to be himself, to be selfish, to be self-centred, not to be noble, self-sacrificing. Yet he holds the fate of the world in his hands. He is just 14. What would you do?
Would he be hated if he turned his back to the world, just as it had done so years ago to him? Now this world had a use for him, and they had crudely summoned him to do its bidding.
What would you do? Be the hero, sacrifice yourself to save the world that had forsaken you, left you to rot in the gutter, or strike back at the society that stinks of decadence and corruption, the scourge of the Earth on its last legs of its existance, yet are now trying desperately to claw its way back. What would you do?
What if you had the power to save the world? Would you save it? Would you see the inherent good in humanity, or see the pure and obvious darkness of our lost souls?
Choose.
Would he be hated if he turned his back to the world, just as it had done so years ago to him? Now this world had a use for him, and they had crudely summoned him to do its bidding.
What would you do? Be the hero, sacrifice yourself to save the world that had forsaken you, left you to rot in the gutter, or strike back at the society that stinks of decadence and corruption, the scourge of the Earth on its last legs of its existance, yet are now trying desperately to claw its way back. What would you do?
What if you had the power to save the world? Would you save it? Would you see the inherent good in humanity, or see the pure and obvious darkness of our lost souls?
Choose.
Raffles Institution
The School That Suited You Most!
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Duh!
Things i miss most in RI:
1) Qiu Lian Ban Mian
2) Kampung Istimewa
3) Scout's Den
4) Proper carrom equipment
5) Astroturf
6) The great bio teacher Dr Lee
7) 01 batch of 1999
8) All the crazy times we had
10 things i still remember in 01:
1) The hoarse whispering during SUTC 2000
2) The flash flood during GTC 2000 in Pahang
3) Jay Chou songs while mugging for O's
4) Annual Camp 2000
5) The war between Kenneth Teo and Murugan
6) The endless carrom games
7) The lynchings of Daniel
8) The LANning sessions, plus the colourful expressions we use
9) Townsville P5 camp!
10) The overthrowing of the Gorilla
Crap, what will I do to relive those crazy days spent hiking, camping and just being hell of a good friends. Soon, we will all leave for army, then university. It will be a long time before we meet up again...
Like Jun Seng said, we must make a pact to meet again 10 years after we part, and Albert can bring his sherbertlings and JS can finally summon the courage to tell 34662 what he feels...
Yeah. But let's live for the moment first. Cherish now, we have lots of time to regret later on in life.
Monday, May 19, 2003
Behind that smiling face...
Sighz, reading too many blogs makes me feel like I have a great burden of knowing too much for my own good...anyway to all those I know, whether just by name or anything else, I hope all of your problems go away.
Hope springs eternal, and a miracle only comes to those who believe in it.
Sighz, reading too many blogs makes me feel like I have a great burden of knowing too much for my own good...anyway to all those I know, whether just by name or anything else, I hope all of your problems go away.
Hope springs eternal, and a miracle only comes to those who believe in it.
Rush of blood to the head
I write this after reading some blogs of people I know. I don't know whether they mean it or not, but you sure see a different side of a person than the side you see in school. The stuff they post, whether they are true or not, it still makes you look at a person differently.
Sighz, I am no PR person, and reading makes me feel as though I am intruding into their lives. But still, it gives me a whole new perspective of things. My worries are mostly of homework and proposals and other irrelevant nonsense. The fact that I can actually worry about these stuff instead of worrying about where the next meal is coming, or why my parents are quarreling, is due to my parents.
I sometimes wonder how my parent's marriage survives. I asked them many times, and they said they do not know themselves. They are polar opposites in my eyes, my dad being chinese-educated and more reticient, my mum english-educated and more liberal. It is akin to the clash of civilisations, and yet they have lived together for 18 years and the worst fight I have ever seen them have was over my dad only remembering about their wedding anniversary at 7pm. And even that was just mum expressing her displeasure, no cups or anything were thrown.
But in all truthfulness, I am really glad to have such great parents. I know how lucky I am compared to those who come from broken families or those whose parents fight all the time. My parents brought me strictly, but they let go soon as I reached secondary school. They always never turned down the chance to teach me something, be it using my arts and crafts project to tell me never to give up trying, or a subtle hint when i am not doing my homework.
There is so much to say. But in a nutshell, my parents really mean a lot to me. I may not confide in them, sometimes I do take them for granted. But I will not let my parents down.
Living my life out in an unforgiving environment of RJC, where people wears masks all the time, I am indeed glad to be able to come back to a home filled with warmth.
I write this after reading some blogs of people I know. I don't know whether they mean it or not, but you sure see a different side of a person than the side you see in school. The stuff they post, whether they are true or not, it still makes you look at a person differently.
Sighz, I am no PR person, and reading makes me feel as though I am intruding into their lives. But still, it gives me a whole new perspective of things. My worries are mostly of homework and proposals and other irrelevant nonsense. The fact that I can actually worry about these stuff instead of worrying about where the next meal is coming, or why my parents are quarreling, is due to my parents.
I sometimes wonder how my parent's marriage survives. I asked them many times, and they said they do not know themselves. They are polar opposites in my eyes, my dad being chinese-educated and more reticient, my mum english-educated and more liberal. It is akin to the clash of civilisations, and yet they have lived together for 18 years and the worst fight I have ever seen them have was over my dad only remembering about their wedding anniversary at 7pm. And even that was just mum expressing her displeasure, no cups or anything were thrown.
But in all truthfulness, I am really glad to have such great parents. I know how lucky I am compared to those who come from broken families or those whose parents fight all the time. My parents brought me strictly, but they let go soon as I reached secondary school. They always never turned down the chance to teach me something, be it using my arts and crafts project to tell me never to give up trying, or a subtle hint when i am not doing my homework.
There is so much to say. But in a nutshell, my parents really mean a lot to me. I may not confide in them, sometimes I do take them for granted. But I will not let my parents down.
Living my life out in an unforgiving environment of RJC, where people wears masks all the time, I am indeed glad to be able to come back to a home filled with warmth.
Innocent until proven guilty
Well, I've finally started to put together a proposal for a Law Society in RJC. Let's see how far it can go. Anyone interested can tell me, or leave a msg on the tagboard. Let's see if i can make this brainchild of mine become a reality.
In other news, I got a C for my econs test. (Yes Nick, I know i'm cocky) But seriously I was rather surprised to get it. Was expecting a E. Now all i need is a A, E, D for me to say i ACED my term 2 tests...
NAPFA today, got AABCC, not bad by my standards, now all i need is a C or higher for my 2.4 run to get a gold.
Nothing else, tmr is photo-taking and my hair looks like a lion's mane...oh well...
Well, I've finally started to put together a proposal for a Law Society in RJC. Let's see how far it can go. Anyone interested can tell me, or leave a msg on the tagboard. Let's see if i can make this brainchild of mine become a reality.
In other news, I got a C for my econs test. (Yes Nick, I know i'm cocky) But seriously I was rather surprised to get it. Was expecting a E. Now all i need is a A, E, D for me to say i ACED my term 2 tests...
NAPFA today, got AABCC, not bad by my standards, now all i need is a C or higher for my 2.4 run to get a gold.
Nothing else, tmr is photo-taking and my hair looks like a lion's mane...oh well...
Sunday, May 18, 2003
Download, Reload
The Reloaded Soundtrack is really good, but I prefer disc 2 which features all the background music in the movie. It really kicks ass. *Potential Spoilers Ahead*
Main Title: Says it all. The background music (BGM) when the movie starts
Trinity Dream: BGM at the part where Trinity falls off the building.
Tea House: BGM when Neo was fighting the Oracle's assistant in the tea house. A nice throwback to the old kung fu movies.
Chateau: My bro tells me the title means "castle". Anyway, it was played when Neo fought the French guy's goons in his home, which was a castle.
Mona Lisa Overdrive: Clocking in at 10 mins, this was played during the freeway free-for-all scene. Very nice and panicky.
Burly Brawl: My favourite. The scene where Neo plays baseball with the Agent Smiths, only that the Smiths were the balls. Best track of the CD.
Matrix Reloaded Suite: This is just a mix of all the BGMs, wasn't played during the movie.
Listening to Burly Brawl makes me imagine that scene again and again...
The Reloaded Soundtrack is really good, but I prefer disc 2 which features all the background music in the movie. It really kicks ass. *Potential Spoilers Ahead*
Main Title: Says it all. The background music (BGM) when the movie starts
Trinity Dream: BGM at the part where Trinity falls off the building.
Tea House: BGM when Neo was fighting the Oracle's assistant in the tea house. A nice throwback to the old kung fu movies.
Chateau: My bro tells me the title means "castle". Anyway, it was played when Neo fought the French guy's goons in his home, which was a castle.
Mona Lisa Overdrive: Clocking in at 10 mins, this was played during the freeway free-for-all scene. Very nice and panicky.
Burly Brawl: My favourite. The scene where Neo plays baseball with the Agent Smiths, only that the Smiths were the balls. Best track of the CD.
Matrix Reloaded Suite: This is just a mix of all the BGMs, wasn't played during the movie.
Listening to Burly Brawl makes me imagine that scene again and again...
Saturday, May 17, 2003
Kill the spiders, to save the butterflies. It seems rational at first, but when you realise by striving for it, you become a spider yourself...
-Trigun
Sums it up quite nicely. Sometimes your actions may have good intentions, but never pursue them to a point you hurt others, and become a spider yourself.
-Trigun
Sums it up quite nicely. Sometimes your actions may have good intentions, but never pursue them to a point you hurt others, and become a spider yourself.
Isn't it worth...dying for?
Rarely am I ever that excited over a movie. Reloaded just blew my mind.
For starters, the fight scenes were just mind-bending. The "Burly Brawl", the freeway chase scene, where Morpheus battles the Twins and an Agent on top of a trailer truck, were just exceptional. The sight of the trailers crashing together and blowing up was just pulsating, and when Neo battles all the Agent Smiths with that pole was one of the very best fight scenes I have ever seen or imagined.
Beyond the fight scenes, there was good plot enhancement, thickening the plot that surrounds the mystery of the Matrix. The storyline took a turn for the darker, and it examines the concept of choice. In the first movie, Neo said he didn't believe in fate as he dosen't like the feeling of not being in control of his own life. In a sense, he believes that his actions and his actions alone will determine what happens in the future. But now they tell Neo that his choice has already been made a long time before, rendering him choiceless, and all he can do is contemplate his choice. I believe the plot centres around 2 concepts, "Choice" and "Belief". Neo can only do his super human tricks if only he truly believes in it.
But, there were some portions I didn't like. Like the non-existent chemistry between Neo and Trinity, the Twins dying so easily without fighting much (damm pissed about that), and some of the fight scenes seem to drag a bit long, but eventually they got a whole lot better.
Overall, I believe Reloaded satisfied me, and that is no mean feat as I do not heap accolades very easily. Now I wait expectantly for the classic good vs evil final battle in a heavy downpour, between Neo and his nemesis Smith. That would be a scene to watch out for.
Rarely am I ever that excited over a movie. Reloaded just blew my mind.
For starters, the fight scenes were just mind-bending. The "Burly Brawl", the freeway chase scene, where Morpheus battles the Twins and an Agent on top of a trailer truck, were just exceptional. The sight of the trailers crashing together and blowing up was just pulsating, and when Neo battles all the Agent Smiths with that pole was one of the very best fight scenes I have ever seen or imagined.
Beyond the fight scenes, there was good plot enhancement, thickening the plot that surrounds the mystery of the Matrix. The storyline took a turn for the darker, and it examines the concept of choice. In the first movie, Neo said he didn't believe in fate as he dosen't like the feeling of not being in control of his own life. In a sense, he believes that his actions and his actions alone will determine what happens in the future. But now they tell Neo that his choice has already been made a long time before, rendering him choiceless, and all he can do is contemplate his choice. I believe the plot centres around 2 concepts, "Choice" and "Belief". Neo can only do his super human tricks if only he truly believes in it.
But, there were some portions I didn't like. Like the non-existent chemistry between Neo and Trinity, the Twins dying so easily without fighting much (damm pissed about that), and some of the fight scenes seem to drag a bit long, but eventually they got a whole lot better.
Overall, I believe Reloaded satisfied me, and that is no mean feat as I do not heap accolades very easily. Now I wait expectantly for the classic good vs evil final battle in a heavy downpour, between Neo and his nemesis Smith. That would be a scene to watch out for.
Friday, May 16, 2003
Life is just but a bus. If you wait too long at the bus stop for someone, eventually either you walk home with her, or end up missing all the buses.
Ever tried waiting for the bus at 9 pm on the opposite side of the red house? Absolutely no one around, all is quiet except for the sound of passing cars. Great time for introspection right?
What I written, under the dim light of the homebound bus was something that i thought i wasn't capable of doing so. In doing so, I have for once placed my true feelings on a piece of paper.
Liberating? Far from it.
Somehow I wish the answers to my eternal questions would just fall onto my lap....
Ever tried waiting for the bus at 9 pm on the opposite side of the red house? Absolutely no one around, all is quiet except for the sound of passing cars. Great time for introspection right?
What I written, under the dim light of the homebound bus was something that i thought i wasn't capable of doing so. In doing so, I have for once placed my true feelings on a piece of paper.
Liberating? Far from it.
Somehow I wish the answers to my eternal questions would just fall onto my lap....
Thursday, May 15, 2003
Once more, with feeling
Someone help me here and tell me where the above quote came from. I know it has something to do with Broadway. Just post it on the tagboard. But still, it is a nice quote, conveys the concept of acting quite well.
No deep psychobabble today. Sorry to disappoint.
Had a damm relaxing day doing nothing strenous, just cleaned up my desk again and got rid of the old magazines that I never read. Then spent most of the other time playing Generals or watching old episodes of Beast Wars. It was nice to slack around for once, fortunately I had the discipline to do all my homework the night before. But am still haunted by the bio test...
Speaking of haunted, on Tues I woke up damm early as I had a nightmare. But ask me now I cannot tell you what happened, but all I know when I was in mortal danger my handphone alarm rang and I woke up. Rather weird.
I've also had weirder dreams. I remember once when Man Utd was losing 3-0 to Spurs in the first half, then I went to sleep and dreamt that Man Utd went on to win 4-3, with Solskjaer scoring the winning goal with a far post tap in. The the next day I woke up and Man Utd had famously won 5-3.
Another similar soccer related dream, again it was a Man Utd vs Spurs match. It was the game this season Van Nistelrooy had 5 chances against Keller and failed to score, and I went to sleep after the first half ended 0-0. I dreamt that I read soccernet and found out that Shaun Barlett had scored for Spurs to beat Man Utd 1-0. I was totally shocked, then I realised that Barlett plays for Charlton, not Spurs. At that point I woke up. In reality the score was 2-0 to Man Utd, and Van Nistelrooy scored.
Overall, I had a good week, and now I am vice-editor of outlook. Hope to work well with you Yi San.
Agent Smith commented that humans define reality by their own suffering, that's why the initial "perfect world" Matrix failed to work. I wonder if he is right, as now everything is going rather smoothly for me, and I feel rather...hollow...strange...
Someone help me here and tell me where the above quote came from. I know it has something to do with Broadway. Just post it on the tagboard. But still, it is a nice quote, conveys the concept of acting quite well.
No deep psychobabble today. Sorry to disappoint.
Had a damm relaxing day doing nothing strenous, just cleaned up my desk again and got rid of the old magazines that I never read. Then spent most of the other time playing Generals or watching old episodes of Beast Wars. It was nice to slack around for once, fortunately I had the discipline to do all my homework the night before. But am still haunted by the bio test...
Speaking of haunted, on Tues I woke up damm early as I had a nightmare. But ask me now I cannot tell you what happened, but all I know when I was in mortal danger my handphone alarm rang and I woke up. Rather weird.
I've also had weirder dreams. I remember once when Man Utd was losing 3-0 to Spurs in the first half, then I went to sleep and dreamt that Man Utd went on to win 4-3, with Solskjaer scoring the winning goal with a far post tap in. The the next day I woke up and Man Utd had famously won 5-3.
Another similar soccer related dream, again it was a Man Utd vs Spurs match. It was the game this season Van Nistelrooy had 5 chances against Keller and failed to score, and I went to sleep after the first half ended 0-0. I dreamt that I read soccernet and found out that Shaun Barlett had scored for Spurs to beat Man Utd 1-0. I was totally shocked, then I realised that Barlett plays for Charlton, not Spurs. At that point I woke up. In reality the score was 2-0 to Man Utd, and Van Nistelrooy scored.
Overall, I had a good week, and now I am vice-editor of outlook. Hope to work well with you Yi San.
Agent Smith commented that humans define reality by their own suffering, that's why the initial "perfect world" Matrix failed to work. I wonder if he is right, as now everything is going rather smoothly for me, and I feel rather...hollow...strange...
Wednesday, May 14, 2003
Tell me who am I. Tell me why I am here. Tell me my purpose. Tell me that you are here, for me. If not, tell me i'm dead.
Somehow, when i read someone that i know's blog just now, i feel like i was intruding into his/her life. I can't really explain it, not sure whether it was the content that made me feel that way.
Most of the time people only show you the side they want you to see. You may go through 4 years knowing a person and still don't know what is he really, deep down? I daresay I know the Guys quite well, as we gone through 4 years of camps and hikes, but the rest I guess not. Even classmates of 4 years have not shown me who they really are underneath their cheery persona. What more people you only know for 5 months?
Sometimes, I get so fed-up wiht the superficiality of it all, yet I know I don't want to be alone. I want someone to talk to, someone who would listen to me. But I feel so hypocritical.
Sometimes I wonder if I act obnoxious just to prevent people from getting close to me, lest i get hurt. Maybe in the recesses of twisted, confused mind this survival instinct rules my cranial cells.
Sighz, all my good friends know I have bad PR skills. I am not a "socialist", I am not like weixiang who can make friends with anyone and everyone. I don't suscribe to the theory of "quantity over quality" for friends.
This question has always plagued my mind.
Was talking to jacob tan for a while, he was commenting on the poem that was published at the back of outlook mag. He said it wasn't me, and i do have to agree with him. Somehow, even I take to wearing masks. The very thing I have contempt for is what I do as well. The irony was never lost on me.
Somehow, when i read someone that i know's blog just now, i feel like i was intruding into his/her life. I can't really explain it, not sure whether it was the content that made me feel that way.
Most of the time people only show you the side they want you to see. You may go through 4 years knowing a person and still don't know what is he really, deep down? I daresay I know the Guys quite well, as we gone through 4 years of camps and hikes, but the rest I guess not. Even classmates of 4 years have not shown me who they really are underneath their cheery persona. What more people you only know for 5 months?
Sometimes, I get so fed-up wiht the superficiality of it all, yet I know I don't want to be alone. I want someone to talk to, someone who would listen to me. But I feel so hypocritical.
Sometimes I wonder if I act obnoxious just to prevent people from getting close to me, lest i get hurt. Maybe in the recesses of twisted, confused mind this survival instinct rules my cranial cells.
Sighz, all my good friends know I have bad PR skills. I am not a "socialist", I am not like weixiang who can make friends with anyone and everyone. I don't suscribe to the theory of "quantity over quality" for friends.
This question has always plagued my mind.
Was talking to jacob tan for a while, he was commenting on the poem that was published at the back of outlook mag. He said it wasn't me, and i do have to agree with him. Somehow, even I take to wearing masks. The very thing I have contempt for is what I do as well. The irony was never lost on me.
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
Such heroic nonsense...
And Megatron blows Ironhide's head off. A classic scene in Transformers: The Movie. Which of course most of you never watched. But I digress.
What do you define as a hero? Someone noble, self-sacrificing? In truth, a hero is just somebody people look up to. Someone they all want to be like.
I have a few heroes. Ruud Van Nistelrooy is one. He scored 44 goals this season, but that's not the main reason why I like him. He is the first player I have ever seen put in his best for every game, no matter what. He doesn't believe in giving up on lost causes, and fights on despite all the odds. I remember the Real Madrid game which Man Utd won 4-3 but still went out of the champions league, he was still trying his best until the very end. His never-say-attitude is a rarity in modern soccer, as most of the players are just content to sit back and draw their inflated salaries. Van Nistelrooy marries talent with hard work, and he is one of greatest heroes.
Another hero has to be Rodimus Prime. A cartoon character? Yup. For the uninitated, Rodimus is the Autobot who took over Optimus when he died. (Transformers) Sure he was a screwed up leader, but he never stopped trying and although in the end , Optimus returned and took over again, his brand of leadership left a mark on me. Despite the fact that he thought of himself as a pale shadow of Optimus, he still carried out his duties effectively, and also i didnt really like Optimus as he was too infallible to be true.
Now for the other end of the spectrum, the anti-heroes. I define an anti-hero as one who is heroic in his own way, but in the way that is rather unconventional. My favourite anti-hero? Only one, Ikari Shinji.
Now here is a guy with more issues than a magazine subscription (I always wanted to say that). Those who watched Evangelion would agree he is the ultimate loser. He whines, cries, bitches but yet he saves the world 9 times (i counted). In the end, he wimps out in the movies and screws the whole world by killing everyone. But still in a sense, I have learnt a lot from him. I've learnt that i will NOT be like him, and it serves as a constant reminder never to screw up like him.
Now if you found that all so boring, here's a quote from me.
"If there is a job to be done, get a boy to do it. He will get it done in half the time and with twice the angst."
Rules of Anime
And Megatron blows Ironhide's head off. A classic scene in Transformers: The Movie. Which of course most of you never watched. But I digress.
What do you define as a hero? Someone noble, self-sacrificing? In truth, a hero is just somebody people look up to. Someone they all want to be like.
I have a few heroes. Ruud Van Nistelrooy is one. He scored 44 goals this season, but that's not the main reason why I like him. He is the first player I have ever seen put in his best for every game, no matter what. He doesn't believe in giving up on lost causes, and fights on despite all the odds. I remember the Real Madrid game which Man Utd won 4-3 but still went out of the champions league, he was still trying his best until the very end. His never-say-attitude is a rarity in modern soccer, as most of the players are just content to sit back and draw their inflated salaries. Van Nistelrooy marries talent with hard work, and he is one of greatest heroes.
Another hero has to be Rodimus Prime. A cartoon character? Yup. For the uninitated, Rodimus is the Autobot who took over Optimus when he died. (Transformers) Sure he was a screwed up leader, but he never stopped trying and although in the end , Optimus returned and took over again, his brand of leadership left a mark on me. Despite the fact that he thought of himself as a pale shadow of Optimus, he still carried out his duties effectively, and also i didnt really like Optimus as he was too infallible to be true.
Now for the other end of the spectrum, the anti-heroes. I define an anti-hero as one who is heroic in his own way, but in the way that is rather unconventional. My favourite anti-hero? Only one, Ikari Shinji.
Now here is a guy with more issues than a magazine subscription (I always wanted to say that). Those who watched Evangelion would agree he is the ultimate loser. He whines, cries, bitches but yet he saves the world 9 times (i counted). In the end, he wimps out in the movies and screws the whole world by killing everyone. But still in a sense, I have learnt a lot from him. I've learnt that i will NOT be like him, and it serves as a constant reminder never to screw up like him.
Now if you found that all so boring, here's a quote from me.
"If there is a job to be done, get a boy to do it. He will get it done in half the time and with twice the angst."
Rules of Anime
Monday, May 12, 2003
Other Victories
Today I feel quite lousy. We played soccer and we had 5 great chances, but took none of them and the other team scored a penalty and won 1-0. In a sense, it feels like what i do at times. You can try all you want, but sometimes it is like running against a brick wall, no matter how hard you try it won't work.
In any case, I will never stop trying due to the fear of failure. In the words of a song, "I was born to try".
Today I feel quite lousy. We played soccer and we had 5 great chances, but took none of them and the other team scored a penalty and won 1-0. In a sense, it feels like what i do at times. You can try all you want, but sometimes it is like running against a brick wall, no matter how hard you try it won't work.
In any case, I will never stop trying due to the fear of failure. In the words of a song, "I was born to try".
This was the poem LaU wrote during o levels...01 people can appreciate and remember it. It's chock full of insider jokes, so don't ask me. It's here for nostalgic value.
The Lau Poem. Enjoy.
The hour approaches:
Final paper,British made
Paper 2, A maths it is (or geog MCQ
lah...solli)
Calculators, pens all drawn
Vigililance! for freedom tempts,
Beyond RI gates green
Sea of white, bated breaths
Velocity perhaps?
Questions yet seen?
'Stop work'
Once dreaded, now awaited!
No more! No more!
Invigilators last seen
Conquest! November's glory
Final peak, 4 years wait
Chiobus beckon, 4 years late
Graduation night, alas!
No date!
Ubin sand, glorious sun
Backpacks laden - horseshoe,
Run!
Blood and sweat,
Yunnan bai fen
No sanitation,
Joyful abrasion
Let spirits soar,
Campfire high,
GC no monkey,
Harken, no sighs!
Alas JC comes
Wherever we go
Mugging. Oh what fun!
Mugging's a wonder
Before long, 6 feet under
~~~~~
Island sun, backpacks full
Glorious sand!
Oh ****
It's Tekong
And we all look like Adrian
LaU
The Lau Poem. Enjoy.
The hour approaches:
Final paper,British made
Paper 2, A maths it is (or geog MCQ
lah...solli)
Calculators, pens all drawn
Vigililance! for freedom tempts,
Beyond RI gates green
Sea of white, bated breaths
Velocity perhaps?
Questions yet seen?
'Stop work'
Once dreaded, now awaited!
No more! No more!
Invigilators last seen
Conquest! November's glory
Final peak, 4 years wait
Chiobus beckon, 4 years late
Graduation night, alas!
No date!
Ubin sand, glorious sun
Backpacks laden - horseshoe,
Run!
Blood and sweat,
Yunnan bai fen
No sanitation,
Joyful abrasion
Let spirits soar,
Campfire high,
GC no monkey,
Harken, no sighs!
Alas JC comes
Wherever we go
Mugging. Oh what fun!
Mugging's a wonder
Before long, 6 feet under
~~~~~
Island sun, backpacks full
Glorious sand!
Oh ****
It's Tekong
And we all look like Adrian
LaU
Sunday, May 11, 2003
You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.
What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
No comment on why my results seem to be the same as jay, this is the thrid time already...
Saturday, May 10, 2003
"I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here, to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone and then I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world, without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world, where anything is possible. Where we go from there, is a choice I leave to you."
Indeed, it's time for the truth to be revealed.
Have any of you wondered if we really lived in the matrix? Maybe the brothers who made the Matrix are agents that produce the movies to make people watch it and go "whoa! good thing I don't live there!" and we go into a state of denial, thinking that this only happens in movies, when we were being deluded all the while?
It's some food for thought I must say. Most people only appreciate the fighting scenes in the Matrix, but not many actually appreciate the philosophy behind it.
What if? What if the "reality" we see now is just a farce?
Morpheus said something in the first movie about other people are so dependent on the matrix that they cannot be unplugged, instead they will even fight to protect the matrix. Will we react like that, fighting to protect our illusion "reality" ?
Indeed, what is "reality"? The things that happen in your life? Or like what the movie said, "what you can see, touch, taste"? How are you so sure that everything around you is "real"?
Reality can be truth, truth need not be reality. What we perceive to be the truth is merely reality in our point of view. So there can be no set reality, and that has been the characteristic of our dynamic human civilisation.
Indeed, it's time for the truth to be revealed.
Have any of you wondered if we really lived in the matrix? Maybe the brothers who made the Matrix are agents that produce the movies to make people watch it and go "whoa! good thing I don't live there!" and we go into a state of denial, thinking that this only happens in movies, when we were being deluded all the while?
It's some food for thought I must say. Most people only appreciate the fighting scenes in the Matrix, but not many actually appreciate the philosophy behind it.
What if? What if the "reality" we see now is just a farce?
Morpheus said something in the first movie about other people are so dependent on the matrix that they cannot be unplugged, instead they will even fight to protect the matrix. Will we react like that, fighting to protect our illusion "reality" ?
Indeed, what is "reality"? The things that happen in your life? Or like what the movie said, "what you can see, touch, taste"? How are you so sure that everything around you is "real"?
Reality can be truth, truth need not be reality. What we perceive to be the truth is merely reality in our point of view. So there can be no set reality, and that has been the characteristic of our dynamic human civilisation.
End of an era
I was supposed to comment on this a long time ago.
My OG is officially dead. Not a single living soul populates the speaker's corner in the mornings, now I just walk briskly past, trying hard not to notice the distinct emptiness of it.
In any case, when it was still the heady days of post-orientation, a nagging thought still hung on at the back of my mind. I knew that our OG could never last, to think so would be foolish and unrealistic. I did not tell anyone this lest I offend he or she, but now the deserted zaecov speaks volumes by itself.
Am I saddened? In a sense yes, in a sense no. Yes as I will not have the pleasure of interacting with my friends or acquaintances, no as I had knew this was coming all the time, and more or less prepared myself mentally for it.
Have I lost anything? Not really. I do not know many of my OG mates well, not enough for me to miss their company anyway. You cannot lose something you never had.
Like many things in life, there is a rise, there is a fall. I do cherish the fun times we had, however limited, you guys were still part of my rude awakening to JC life. Now, everyone is busy with theri own lives and dreams, it will be unfair to them if I were to insist that they hold on to something they no longer feel for, something that outlasted its usefulness.
We are after all, a group of dynamic individuals, each with our own agenda, own purpose, own motive. We were put together to travel the first few steps on the path of JC life, but then as time passes by we all shall have to part, as we have our roads to take.
Thanks to ru min, saleem, ziwei, liang zheng, nurie, christine, wei xuan, andy, kaulsheik (sp?), marie-anne, alison, ee min, kai min, gabriel, serene, siew ling, zhipeng, sally, lawrence, i have no pictures of orientation at all, but the events of it still swirl in my mind. Here's wishing all of you good luck in your endeavours.
No tears will be shed for this end of an era, just silent regret.
I was supposed to comment on this a long time ago.
My OG is officially dead. Not a single living soul populates the speaker's corner in the mornings, now I just walk briskly past, trying hard not to notice the distinct emptiness of it.
In any case, when it was still the heady days of post-orientation, a nagging thought still hung on at the back of my mind. I knew that our OG could never last, to think so would be foolish and unrealistic. I did not tell anyone this lest I offend he or she, but now the deserted zaecov speaks volumes by itself.
Am I saddened? In a sense yes, in a sense no. Yes as I will not have the pleasure of interacting with my friends or acquaintances, no as I had knew this was coming all the time, and more or less prepared myself mentally for it.
Have I lost anything? Not really. I do not know many of my OG mates well, not enough for me to miss their company anyway. You cannot lose something you never had.
Like many things in life, there is a rise, there is a fall. I do cherish the fun times we had, however limited, you guys were still part of my rude awakening to JC life. Now, everyone is busy with theri own lives and dreams, it will be unfair to them if I were to insist that they hold on to something they no longer feel for, something that outlasted its usefulness.
We are after all, a group of dynamic individuals, each with our own agenda, own purpose, own motive. We were put together to travel the first few steps on the path of JC life, but then as time passes by we all shall have to part, as we have our roads to take.
Thanks to ru min, saleem, ziwei, liang zheng, nurie, christine, wei xuan, andy, kaulsheik (sp?), marie-anne, alison, ee min, kai min, gabriel, serene, siew ling, zhipeng, sally, lawrence, i have no pictures of orientation at all, but the events of it still swirl in my mind. Here's wishing all of you good luck in your endeavours.
No tears will be shed for this end of an era, just silent regret.
"You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and you believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland. And, I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes."
Sometimes I do feel like Neo. He knows something is wrong with the world he lives in, but he cannot pinpoint what it is. He seeks the truth, but when he finds out the truth, he rejects it initially.
In a same way, I seek the truth, but sometimes the truth is so ugly that even the realist in me refuses to accept it. I wish I never actively looked for it, living instead in ignorance.
But such moments do pass quickly. The truth cannot be ignored, you can only deny it, and that will not help much. Accept it and move on with life.
This is the kind of attitude I use to face the endless rabbit hole of my JC life...
This and next week will be rather boring...just waiting to be reloaded...
"Remember, I can only offer you the truth, and nothing else."
Sometimes I do feel like Neo. He knows something is wrong with the world he lives in, but he cannot pinpoint what it is. He seeks the truth, but when he finds out the truth, he rejects it initially.
In a same way, I seek the truth, but sometimes the truth is so ugly that even the realist in me refuses to accept it. I wish I never actively looked for it, living instead in ignorance.
But such moments do pass quickly. The truth cannot be ignored, you can only deny it, and that will not help much. Accept it and move on with life.
This is the kind of attitude I use to face the endless rabbit hole of my JC life...
This and next week will be rather boring...just waiting to be reloaded...
"Remember, I can only offer you the truth, and nothing else."
I got a disease
Deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy, baby
I can't live without you, tell me
What am I supposed to do about it?
Keep your distance from it
Don't pay no attention to me
I got a disease
Lyrics from "Disease" by Matchbox Twenty
This song kinda reflects my personality in a sense. I know people know me more of a "xtra" guy, the nonsensical joker etc. The tagboard opposite is evidence of this.
I know the people who posted there and tried to talk to me to tell me to be less cocky, esp nick, have good intentions. I admit being nonsensical, cocky at times, and generally being the guy you would think twice about being friends with.
But to say that i don't treat my friends well, that's quite unfair, in my opinion. I'm sure people can vouch for me, but i don't think there is a need for that. I have always treated my friends well, and if you think you were treated unfairly by me, just tell me. I really dislike people who have issues with me but don't tell me. I know I am not the greatest person there is in the world, but I do make an effort to change.
I'm a capricorn, so I am supposed to have few friends, but all of them are very good friends. I must say I have very good friends, like the Guys, ex-classmates, weilin, larry, bing han etc. I don't really like socialising, and that's why sometimes i may dao you walking around school, cos i think you don't want to be disturbed by me.
Yeah, that's it. To sum it all up, I never believed in compromising my own "radical" beliefs to please others. But that doesn't mean I am a stubborn fool who refuses to change.
Deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy, baby
I can't live without you, tell me
What am I supposed to do about it?
Keep your distance from it
Don't pay no attention to me
I got a disease
Lyrics from "Disease" by Matchbox Twenty
This song kinda reflects my personality in a sense. I know people know me more of a "xtra" guy, the nonsensical joker etc. The tagboard opposite is evidence of this.
I know the people who posted there and tried to talk to me to tell me to be less cocky, esp nick, have good intentions. I admit being nonsensical, cocky at times, and generally being the guy you would think twice about being friends with.
But to say that i don't treat my friends well, that's quite unfair, in my opinion. I'm sure people can vouch for me, but i don't think there is a need for that. I have always treated my friends well, and if you think you were treated unfairly by me, just tell me. I really dislike people who have issues with me but don't tell me. I know I am not the greatest person there is in the world, but I do make an effort to change.
I'm a capricorn, so I am supposed to have few friends, but all of them are very good friends. I must say I have very good friends, like the Guys, ex-classmates, weilin, larry, bing han etc. I don't really like socialising, and that's why sometimes i may dao you walking around school, cos i think you don't want to be disturbed by me.
Yeah, that's it. To sum it all up, I never believed in compromising my own "radical" beliefs to please others. But that doesn't mean I am a stubborn fool who refuses to change.
Thursday, May 08, 2003
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid: | Moderate |
| Schizoid: | Low |
| Schizotypal: | High |
| Antisocial: | Low |
| Borderline: | Low |
| Histrionic: | High |
| Narcissistic: | High |
| Avoidant: | Moderate |
| Dependent: | Moderate |
| Obsessive-Compulsive: | Moderate |
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- | |
Sunday, May 04, 2003
Another piece of introspection...
Sometimes, in life, you get second chances to make things right, to take this second opportunity to make up for what you missed the last time around.
However, with people, there are no second chances. No matter how politely the person says i forgive you, in his or her heart you have left an indeminable mark on the person. No amount of second chances will help.
And it is not like a sport season, where one can say we will win if we train harder for next year. There is no next year, you blow it, you blow it for life.
And just sometimes, you really want to sound out the person, say sorry, and ask if we could just be friends all over again. If anyone were to harbour this hope, i would find that person rather foolish.
Sometiems I feel like doing something, anything and possibly improve the situation, but deep inside i know it would be futile.
Like my mum said, if you can't improve the situation by talking about the problem, then don't. Eventually the problem or you will die away, whichever comes first.
I always believed to tackle problems head on, but after this experience, i know otherwise.
Sometimes, in life, you get second chances to make things right, to take this second opportunity to make up for what you missed the last time around.
However, with people, there are no second chances. No matter how politely the person says i forgive you, in his or her heart you have left an indeminable mark on the person. No amount of second chances will help.
And it is not like a sport season, where one can say we will win if we train harder for next year. There is no next year, you blow it, you blow it for life.
And just sometimes, you really want to sound out the person, say sorry, and ask if we could just be friends all over again. If anyone were to harbour this hope, i would find that person rather foolish.
Sometiems I feel like doing something, anything and possibly improve the situation, but deep inside i know it would be futile.
Like my mum said, if you can't improve the situation by talking about the problem, then don't. Eventually the problem or you will die away, whichever comes first.
I always believed to tackle problems head on, but after this experience, i know otherwise.
"Why do you need a lighter and swiss army knife in a camp?"
Yes indeed, why? This dumb statement started the camp, and since blogger f***ed up my blow by blow account of what happened, lemme just present the highlights.
"Everyone! Check your letters!" Wen Kian while we were all blindfolded and trying to figure out what was written on pieces of paper stuck to us to form the school song. Only problem is, when he said letters he meant words, as a result he confused a lot of people and caused things to be very messed up...
Argh, i refuse to write anymore as my mind is thinking about how to kill blogger...next time i write a long post i will type it on note pad first...if you want to know the whole story talk to me personally...
Yes indeed, why? This dumb statement started the camp, and since blogger f***ed up my blow by blow account of what happened, lemme just present the highlights.
"Everyone! Check your letters!" Wen Kian while we were all blindfolded and trying to figure out what was written on pieces of paper stuck to us to form the school song. Only problem is, when he said letters he meant words, as a result he confused a lot of people and caused things to be very messed up...
Argh, i refuse to write anymore as my mind is thinking about how to kill blogger...next time i write a long post i will type it on note pad first...if you want to know the whole story talk to me personally...
Saturday, May 03, 2003
Introspection
Sighz, went for the Raffles Camp today...
The main event of the day was not me pulling my right hamstring when i tried to do a lay-up. Neither is the blinder i played against good opposition in basketball today. Neither was the ice-breaking games.
It was a simple question, a simple sentence, that brought forth the bottled frustration and emotions hidden deep inside me, the sheer helplessness on my part, and the constant knowing that there is no way to change things to back to what they were before.
Sometimes a simple sorry will not do, a simple clear-the-air session will make no effect, a simple letter will mean absolutley nothing. Words do not adequately explain my position.
I thank the person for wanting to help me, but i feel the rifts are too deep, the misunderstandings too messed up, the situation too complicated to change for the better. It is better to move on, to leave this bad memory behind and learn from it, learn never to let ur heart rule your head, never assume things, never do stupid things.
No amount of talking will change anything. That is a fact of life i will have to accept and move on. And move on I shall, for i do not deserve a second chance to screw up.
Sighz, went for the Raffles Camp today...
The main event of the day was not me pulling my right hamstring when i tried to do a lay-up. Neither is the blinder i played against good opposition in basketball today. Neither was the ice-breaking games.
It was a simple question, a simple sentence, that brought forth the bottled frustration and emotions hidden deep inside me, the sheer helplessness on my part, and the constant knowing that there is no way to change things to back to what they were before.
Sometimes a simple sorry will not do, a simple clear-the-air session will make no effect, a simple letter will mean absolutley nothing. Words do not adequately explain my position.
I thank the person for wanting to help me, but i feel the rifts are too deep, the misunderstandings too messed up, the situation too complicated to change for the better. It is better to move on, to leave this bad memory behind and learn from it, learn never to let ur heart rule your head, never assume things, never do stupid things.
No amount of talking will change anything. That is a fact of life i will have to accept and move on. And move on I shall, for i do not deserve a second chance to screw up.
Thursday, May 01, 2003
Random bouts of insanity
Decided NOT to pursue PSA, sighz...if HQ wasn't so screwed up I may try, but...nvm, means i have to concentrate on my other responsibilities.
Nick was talking to me last night, and i felt he made a lot of sense. I pose a question to you, would yu rather be 3 vice-captains, or 1 Captain? To be a leader of your peers, unfortunately, you seem to need to be popular before you can be elected as captain. It is a shame as many other capable but not so popular get looked over. Back to the question, i chose to be 3 vice-captains. But in the end, Nick argued, is that you do quite a lot of work, with much lesser recognition.
In retrospect, i do agree with him a bit. In 01 i feel willing to work hard as i know the whole GC is in it as a team, and we will either proper or eat s**t together. But in RJ, it is harder to say, as other people have their own agendas, and it will be hard to work together, as they do not have the benefit of having gone through camps and hikes together for 4 years.
On the eve of the Raffles Camp, I still do not have a concrete answer to this question. I think the answer will come tommorrow...but i still think that just by going through 1 camp, does not make people bond together and work well as a team. On the contary, it may backfire badly...
Decided NOT to pursue PSA, sighz...if HQ wasn't so screwed up I may try, but...nvm, means i have to concentrate on my other responsibilities.
Nick was talking to me last night, and i felt he made a lot of sense. I pose a question to you, would yu rather be 3 vice-captains, or 1 Captain? To be a leader of your peers, unfortunately, you seem to need to be popular before you can be elected as captain. It is a shame as many other capable but not so popular get looked over. Back to the question, i chose to be 3 vice-captains. But in the end, Nick argued, is that you do quite a lot of work, with much lesser recognition.
In retrospect, i do agree with him a bit. In 01 i feel willing to work hard as i know the whole GC is in it as a team, and we will either proper or eat s**t together. But in RJ, it is harder to say, as other people have their own agendas, and it will be hard to work together, as they do not have the benefit of having gone through camps and hikes together for 4 years.
On the eve of the Raffles Camp, I still do not have a concrete answer to this question. I think the answer will come tommorrow...but i still think that just by going through 1 camp, does not make people bond together and work well as a team. On the contary, it may backfire badly...
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