Sanctuary

It's been a while, hasn't it?
I've been to tioman and back, 15 days of sleepy island life, where crowds are non-existant, the scenery is beautiful, the waters are clear, where the fishes swim up to you, close enough for you to kiss them, where the people are friendly and cheerful, where 10 year kids ride motorbikes, their short legs barely touching the ground, I found myself charmed by the simple island, yet yearning for the urban city of home at the same time.
Am wanting, BADLY, some kind of purpose or interest to pursue when it has finally ended. So anyone with a lobang, you know who to look for ok?
Oh yah, I recommend everyone to go to the Ben & Jerry's at Raffles City basement and eat the New York ice cream (can't remember the full name) :)
This week's 8 days has my favourite local actress, Rui En on its cover. Inside, in her interview, she says she will always stand by her beliefs and values and never compromise, even if it means she gets looked over for roles. I think (and this is not said because I'm more or less besotted with her. Just ask any of my campmates or my friends) she is perhaps the most honest person to herself. I mean, how many times have we sacrificed our values and beliefs in the organisation? I know I have, and many a time I've justfied it by saying whatever I did was necessary to "survive". Sometimes I wonder how true is it, but most of the time I shrug it off and continue on. Now that the end is near, I'm somewhat ashamed of what I've done before, and regret my actions. However, I still believe values and beliefs do not fill a stomach. She doesn't need to support a family, so i guess she still can afford to pick and choose her roles. That's why I want to be true to myself before I grow up and hold on to more responsibilities.
I'm on leave from next week onwards, so I guess I'll post here more frequently from now on. First up would be to clean up my study room though. Time to get my life, my own life, one that I have to live it by myself, in order. No more hiding behind taking orders, putting the blame on others forcing myself to do certain things. Time for me to be the master of my own destiny. And believe you me, I can't wait. I can't say I'm ready, I think I'm far from ready in fact, but I want to be out there and away from anymore safety nets.