Thursday, October 26, 2006

Queen Of My Heart

Westlife

So here we stand
In our secret place
Where the sound of the crowd
Is so far away
You take my hand
And it feels like home
We both understand
It's where we belong

So how do I say
Do I say goodbye
We both have our dreams
We both wanna fly
So let's take tonight
To carry us through
The lonely times

I'll always look back
As I walk away
This memory will last for eternity
And all of our tears
Will be lost in the rain
When I find my way back
To your arms again
But until that day
You know you are
The queen of my heart

So let's take tonight
And never let go
While dancing we'll kiss
Like there's no tomorrow
As the stars sparkle down
Like a diamond ring
I'll treasure this moment
Till we meet again

But no matter how far (no matter how far)
Or where you may be (where you may be)
I just close my eyes (just close my eyes)
And you're in my dreams
And there you will be
Until we meet

I'll always look back
As I walk away
This memory will last for eternity
And all off our tears
Will be lost in the rain
When I find my way back
To your arms again
But until that day
You know you are
The queen of my heart

I'll always look back
As I walk away
This memory will last for eternity
And all off our tears
Will be lost in the rain
When I find my way back
To your arms again
But until that day
You know you are
The queen of my heart

Oh yeah
You're the queen of my heart (queen of my heart)
No matter how many years it takes (queen of my heart)
i'm coming home to you
Oh yeah (queen of my heart)
Oh yes you are
The queen of my heart


Yesterday, I was happy. Wanted to tell how happy I was to someone though. Oh well..

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

And sometimes you wonder why they hate us..

Well, finally got the tagboard up, been irritating me for a while but my renowned penchant for procrastination worked up again. Been spending lazy day after lazy day just letting the minutes past by and not feel guilty at all, as I know I have paid my dues for the last 21 months. These lazy days were interspaced with activities here and there, like getting my wisdom teeth removed, mahjong sessions with friends, working and watching Manchester United give me joy that I haven't felt since 2003.
But today I flipped through the papers and read the article that was very unfortunately titled in my opinion. The title was meant to inflame and provoke reactions. It was about this RJC girl who made some comments on her blog which were deemed inappropriate and had made plenty of people unhappy. And I tried my best to be mild about the descriptions.
First of all, I have nothing to comment on the incident at all except that she is just stupid. Stupid as she wrote such remarks on a very public blog (she really should know better), stupid as she allowed people to realise what school is she from, stupid as she really has no right rebuffing the guy like that as she has zero life experience. But then I'm not here to condone her stupidity. I'm here to bemoan the fact that AGAIN people have a reason to hate RI/RGS/RJ people.
Frankly speaking, as if people don't hate the group above enough. In fact sometimes I'm ashamed to say I was from such a great school simply because of such behavior. It is just plain stupid and insensitive. Granted when I was 18 I'm sure I would have written such nonsense as I think I was young angry and frankly stupid at that time too. Thankfully self censorship saved me from a being column in the papers. (My dad is no bigshot some more, so he can't help me with his reputation)
I loved my school. Some of the best times of my life were spent there. But as I left those pearly gates for the big bad world, one thing I realised acutely is that, people just love to see those who are above them fail. They love to see those who walk with their heads up get their noses rubbed in the mud and then laugh evilly about it.
If there's one thing my 2 years in the "Organisation" taught me is this. When I was in RI/RJ, we were constantly fed a healthy diet that we were the best, the creme da la creme, the brightest sparks with a great future ahead of us. And thus they nurtured us, gave us opportunities to shine, and we responded in kind. Trophies, accolades and good grades came our way, as we walked with a swagger and the unwavering belief that as long as we put in the effort, we will walk away with success. Sometimes even minimal effort is required. I think this was good, as it really made us believe we can be world beaters, and the confidence it brings is really an important component of success. But my time in the "Organisation" taught me that, one must understand that there are other people who were never brought up that way, or never had the opportunities we had. Like fabian said, we're privileged, and we should never forget that. We should be grateful for that. I'm not saying we should lose our edge, but we need to balance it out with good EQ.
Having said all that, those who know I used to be a very irritating elitist as well. Well, I like to think I've changed for the better. She may have made a very big mistake, but I hope she learns from it. And for all RJC people out there, remember, the world's your oyster, but remember there are other people wanting a bite at the oyster as well.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

World's End's Garden

"As a boy who dreams of an ideal, as a teen who wants to have both the ideal and the reality, and as an adult who accepts the impossibility of the ideal and compromises with reality."

I got this quote from wikipedia. Somehow it sums up how I feel about life nowadays, especially now I have more time to think about it as I'm at home whiling my time away doing precious nothing, but loving every minute I waste as it means I'm not spending it doing some other random nonsense in the "Organisation".
Today I had to go to St Nick's to pick my sister up from her school. As I turned out of my estate, I immediately met with a traffic jam. As I crawled my way through the traffic, I couldn't help but feel that driving is like life. We're always in transit, having to get to one place from the other, always in a hurry to get there before it's too late, and we curse when we're in jams where we can't get to where we want soon.
Maybe I'm in a phase in life which mirrors a traffic jam. Right now, as I'm on leave, I'm more or less in a limbo avenue, where I crawl through the minutes with not much to do, but unlike the impatient driver who honks at the cars in front of him, I'm quite content to just turn up the volume of the radio, lean back and just release the footbrake once in a while to inch forward. For now at least, because when it's time to go full throttle, away I'll go.
Blue Monday

He leaned onto the railing and tilted his head to look up to the night sky.
"I would like to get to know you better."
The words came out softly, so softly that he was momentarily surprised that he actually said those words out loud, and not in his subconsciousness.
She stole a glance at him, before turning back to her original position, which was leaning forward on the very same railing.
"What do you mean?"
He paused for a moment. Taking a deep breath, he let it all out.
"Can you remember how we first met?"
She just nodded slightly. "It was the first day I joined the club. You were teaching a bunch of us the basic skills. As I remember, you were quite nervous when it was my turn."
He chuckled at the memory. "Truth be told, when I saw you, all I could think was 'What a pretty girl'."
He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes. He saw her suppress a smile, all the while looking away over the railing.
"I also remember you asking for my number on the your last day at the club."
"I was trembling all over. Up to now I don't know how I got the courage to ask you for your number."
Another pause. This one was longer. Finally, he spoke.
"We have known each other for a few years now. It's just that, sometimes I wonder what kind of friendship do we have. We communicated more through sms than actual face to face interaction, and there's only so much one can find out about the other person through words on a cellphone."
He turned his whole body to face her.
"Somehow I always feel that, despite the many times we talk, we seem to be almost fencing, each one of us trying to delve deep into the other's psyche, yet not so deep until the other withdraws away. It's like an invisible barrier is between us."
"You're a special girl. When I'm with you I feel I can drop all the pretence I need to show at work and truly be myself. You've seen the real me, that soft underbelly under that tough as nails exterior."
He paused yet again. Her face was unreadable, not a shred of emotion was displayed at all.
"I just... just want to get to know you better. I want to know how you feel about things, what makes you laugh, what makes you cry, what you really think when you frown or smile at events. I hope you'll let me into your world, so I can know you better."
She just stood there. He wonders if he said too much. But somehow, he doesn't regret his words. They were honest and from the heart, with the greatest sincerity.
"Thank you." She said gently. She turned to face him, her gaze meeting his for the first time of the whole conversation.
Neither of them spoke.
However, he knew that wasn't necessary at all.