Lousy

I hate letting people down.
But I only have myself to blame.
Somehow, I prefer that they get angry with me, instead of saying it's alright with a voice filled with resignation and disappointment.
But yeah, that is just me trying to make myself feel better, as I subconsciously think that once the anger is gone, everything will be fine again.
Argh argh argh.
I really am damn fricking irritated and angry with myself now, but it's pointless.
"From now on I'll just not expect anything from others so I won't be disappointed anymore."
These words made me feel the worst ever chill run through my whole body.

Exams

Ok worst possible time to be malaised, but yeah that's the case I'm feeling now, on the eve of my criminal paper.
Just feel like saying it here.
Need a shot in the arm.
Shall sleep and wake up to fight another day.