Lousy

I hate letting people down.
But I only have myself to blame.
Somehow, I prefer that they get angry with me, instead of saying it's alright with a voice filled with resignation and disappointment.
But yeah, that is just me trying to make myself feel better, as I subconsciously think that once the anger is gone, everything will be fine again.
Argh argh argh.
I really am damn fricking irritated and angry with myself now, but it's pointless.
"From now on I'll just not expect anything from others so I won't be disappointed anymore."
These words made me feel the worst ever chill run through my whole body.