I haven't done this in some time, but why the hell not?

Not that anyone cares about this place anymore, now lost amongst the other more pertinent websites.

Perhaps this relic from my adolescence shall serve a purpose again.

Cryptic though my words are, the emotion that drives them is always the same.

It is just the unfulfilled, unsatisfied life. Those who tell you otherwise lie, and you believe them as you want your life to transcend this drudgery, this weakness where you can only the sum total of nothing.

Be unsatisfied. It is too easy to be happy. Happy is an emotion that comes easily, as all of us want happiness to belong to us and never leave us. It is the drug that sustains your life. Yet it is only those who are truly brave that stare at the easy release of happiness and reject it. Those who turn their backs at happiness because they know such falsehood will only hold them back, they surge forward to break new ground as they know if they were to stop, that drug will take over them and they too will lose themselves to that hallucinatory intangible feeling.

It is too easy to be happy. Happy is being contended with what you are, never seeking to step ahead. And once you have this happiness you guard it jealously, you fight off any attempt to take it away from you, and fight it to prevent it from leaving you. At times, you may throw away your dignity and beg for it to stay.

I say, lead the unsatisfied life, but at times indulge in the drug of happiness. But never overindulge, for it would lead you to not want to lead the unsatisfied life anymore. Do not look for easy ways out, nor look for others divine or not for guidance. You live your life for yourself. Never be ignorant. The key to making good decisions is having knowledge and using it.

I have been indulging a bit too much. It's time to be unsatisfied again.

The part where he rants at those above for not being able to hear anything meaningful from his father, that part hit me hard.

Life can end so easily without any last words. And yes it is senseless. Life is cruel in that bad things can happen to anyone, be it good or bad. Ranting and raving is inevitable, the only way we can deal with it in the end is to accept it and move on.

In that, we show our weakness as a human being, a person who wants to have control over his life but has no real control over anything at all. That is just the sad plight of being human.

If he were to exist, he has a cruel sense of humor.