Mecurial

The time is slowly ticking away. Soon, the day will come to pass.
Actually I don't know why I am writing here. I used to think I write sense and people read my sense, but sometimes things happend that make no sense whatsoever and it just throws all conventional theories held dear by people who love their world to be nicely ordered out of the window.
And what happens when that day comes to pass? Does one feel lost, as the pillars of your existence come crashing down on you? Or does one look for the few pillars that haven't collapsed and hang on for dear life? Or move on and desperately look for another pillar? Or instead stay put and hang on to that invisible pillar, the one you can't see touch hear taste or feel, but the one you just know it's there?
Someone asked me the eternal question, why am I here on this earth? My answer was that I live for my future wife, my future children, my future and current family. I guess that's good enough for me. A life well spent if i accomplish this. I don't need elaborate theories why I'm here, I'm here, that what matters. All I know is I have one life that can be snuffed out anytime, I want to make the most of it.
Just feeling a bit pensive. So much has happened since the A's ended. I'm officially considered an adult, someone old enough to be trained to defend the country. Somehow I don't feel older, nor do I look older, as someone pointed out during my japan trip. I think it's because I'm kinda afraid of being an adult. Somehow that concept seems almost alien to me. It entails the fact that the only mail you'll receive are bills. But I still have to blaze this trail, which I have and never stopped doing for my 18 years.
Nick and I share the same sentiments. Change is not really something I embrace. But it, along with death and taxes, are a constant in life.
I'm just rambling here. I should learn to let go, accept some things just haven't been and will most likely not go my way for a considerable period of time. Like I said countless times today, I'll just go along doing stupid things before the hurt gets too unbearable and then I quit.
Life is good by the way :)