To have it once again

I've been rather enchanted by a chinese song from a singaporean artist Gong Si Jia's Zai Yi Ci Yong You (loosely translated as "let me have it once again"). It's a song pining for lost love, but yet it strikes a chord with me with its lyrics about loss and how you would do anything, anything just to regain it.
Once again I trawl the Internet world aimlessly in the death of the night, resisting the urge to turn in for the night and hence face the next day. Some idle clicking led me to some of old classmates' blogs, which out of boredom decided to peruse them.
I shouldn't have.
Somehow their words, felt alien yet familiar. Some of them have gone on to different things, either studying overseas or in different army camps. They express their thoughts and emotions about their vastly different lives that I no longer play any significant part in. Once I was a classmate whom you could have canteen breaks with, borrow notes to copy from, have lunches in ghim moh or copy tutorials from; now perhaps I'm just relegated to being a saved contact on the handphone, a face in that school photo, or just a mere hazy memory.
Maybe they just forget me. But I know that is not true, as I myself have started to forget people. It's been a year since I left school for the big bad world, and I've lost touch with many, far too many. Sometimes I wonder how they're doing, but it's never more than a few seconds of curious thought, before my brain returns to stuff more immediate and direct.
This I got from a friend's blog about what I wore for prom in 2004.
"Zyang (my name i guess, great way of ensuring people don't google it) looked nothing but unglam in his sharked skin coloured suit courtesy of his dad. He didn't look like a shark but he did look like a fashion disaster. Horrible taste. However, that did not stop him from winning the 5th prize of a digital camera in the lucky draw, perhaps a good way of the glitzy night in mocking him by making him go up on stage."
Well if that friend of mine sees this, for the record I kinda agree with him. I'm just an idiot when it comes to dressing. So really since you spoke the truth there's really nothing for me to be upset about.
And well, a part of me is compelling me to defend myself as to why I chose that suit, yet another part of me tells me to let it go.
Reading blogs of others, especially those who are candid about people, really let you take a look at how people view you. When they say bad things about you, you may want to immediately defend yourself, try to justify your actions, as you feel that you as a person have been violated, but maybe sometimes it's the truth, which hurts bad.
Another thing I learned from reading blogs is that no matter how different our lives are now, we still share common problems and desires. We longed to be cherished, we get frustrated over things, we are saddened by loss, we hide our true selves from the world lest they try to hurt us, we lie, cheat, backstab to protect ourselves, we love or hate each other, we stare from afar those with seemingly perfect lives and sigh "why can't that be me?", we yearn for acceptance, we are all but the same.
The clock strikes 2.00 am.
Another day with the "Organisation" beckons.
This quagmire never ends.