You can't be that good a person and be well adjusted

So says Dr Gregory House.
Been a real lousy day. Not the worst day, but it can be ranked up there. I deleted a paragraph or so of entry as I'm afraid someone may read it, so you can tell the extend I've fallen to... Whatever happend to the cavalier Zhao Yang who never shunned away from making a controvesial comment?
I feel so... lousy. I've lied, cheated, backstabbed, and worst of all compromised my principles and morals, and justify my actions being essential for self-survival. I may think I'm smart to survive in this harsh world but I'm actually just a simple coward. I hate myself for having fallen to where I am now. I live a schizophernic life, and I know my true self seems to be hidden away, never to be shown to anyone that can potentially hurt me. There are days I just don't want to get out of bed to face the day.
Yet I still do so. I still get out of bed to face the challenges of the day, no matter how soul destorying it is...
Perhaps that's the price of being well adjusted, the goodness of me will slowly be ebbed away by the rising tide of cynicism until all that is left is mere shadow of the person I was, and will never be...
Still waiting for that better tommorrow..