I know it's selfish, but this is my story!

Just a few more days to christmas, then to the new year.
Time really flies, to re-use an old cliche.
I think I shall leave the melancholy out of this psot, romantism is dead, pragmantism replaces it, time that has past cannot be reclaimed, stupid things done cannot be undone, bridges burnt cannot be mended, in short, I chose my own path. It wasn't pretty, at times it was helplessly hopeless, at times it was blindingly euphoric. I'm glad the good times outnumbered the bad, but every unhappy experience was just another lesson to learn, costly or not, I drew something from my myriad of encounters.
2004. A new year dawns on us, yet the future is as murky as it can get. Who thought, at the brink of 2003, that a disease would send us all into a panic, to the extent schools will be closed and people adhored all human contact?
Whatever comes next year, I'll be there to face it.
The A's, coupled with my natural desire for not studying and penchant for just scrapping through. No S papers, meaning unlikely any scholarship, the incentive to work hard is greater, yet that is far from the truth.
Orientation. Those who know me, you know what I am like. There is this part of me which needs to change, and badly, and through this I'll get the opportunity to try and change.
There are plenty more I feel apprehensive about, but I'll take things 1 at a time.
I refuse to use the word hope.
To hope is to say to a higher being, "here's my life, plot its chart for me."
That is a very irresponsible way of living to me.
We are all masters of our own fate.
Hope is just the denial of reality.
I choose my own path.