Of fuzzy memories and murky futures

Respite? What respite? Since I got home I've had to deal with one crisis after another, what with missing networks then the router going south on me to stubborn destiny downloads and the ultimate football robbery cum injustice, and top it all off with a late book out, albeit unavoidable, and most of all the jarring lack of social excursions this fair weekend.
Frankly speaking the 4 hours I spent without an internet connection was quite harrowing, shows how dependant I am on my connection.
Well, here I am again, only that I'm not writing this just hours before I book in. Just a few updates on my existence to all those that actually care about such trivial stuff.
- My hair is totalled. Refuse to go to the EC house at bishan ever again.
- BCS reminds me of building scout tents.
- My senior instructor calls the cat status hotline every half hour to check. Seems he himself isn't very hot about combat phase
- PSP lacks games
Nothing much to add i guess. My lasr few entries have been very introspective, maybe because of the isolation in army and the fact that I can't be myself in there draws me closer to my inner self, so I spend more time imagining scenes in my head.
And once again it comes to naught. Maybe, just maybe, it is time to give up the ghost , accept my fate and walk that lonely path.
NS guys are whiny???? Oh lady, how would you like to trade your comfy lifestyle for mine? Toilets with a family of cockroaches, lights that don't work and will never be repaired, no freedom at all, just pure regimentation, when you sleep eat wake up bathe are regulated, where having a higher rank means you're always right when you're obviously dead wrong, where people are generally unmotivated as what vocation they get is not in their hands, and most of all, having to live away from the safety net of your home. Do you think, for a second, that most singaporean girls can handle that? Chances are no. Being the person I am, the things I gripe about in army are stuff like inefficiency, rank means right, no room for thinking just blind obedience, speaking up is seen as being extra and defiant, where inflexible rules and contradictions rule the day, unhelpful and selfish platoon mates which cause the whole platoon to get punished for their sins etc. I could go on forever. So you ma say, what's new? another ns hating guy.
To me, NS is a necessary evil. I don't advocate it, neither am I willing to see it disband. I just hope SAF under it's 21st century revamping changes all the archaic rules and ensure that the old dinosaurs are gone before they continue to terrorise trainees again.
Ladies, please empathise with the guys. And above all, cherish the freedom you have. Regimentation is something easily done, but the most wretched of them all in my opinion as it reduces your mind's ability to adapt to new situations, as everything now becomes a conditioned routine.
You know what scares me the most? When I sit around with no real purpose, I almost long to return to camp, at least there are purposes to be found there. But I always silence that horrible thought immediately. I shall, no, must gain a purpose soon before this darkness consumes me.