All things visceral

A good friend called from USA yesterday. Was driving when I got the call, was wondering who was that American accented bugger while trying to navigate a turn. Had a nice chat with him, which lasted 45 mins, realised that I missed having him around to talk cock to. Even if he did give cock advice on how to jio girls that only worked for him as he is handsome. :)
I can't help but realise that I'm being surrounded by them. I seriously wonder if this is a sign.
Was talking to a new friend online about how I am living my life now. I told her that "I'm doing what I want because I what to." Sort of like personal preference maximisation. And I added, "on good days I know what I want to do, on bad days I'm hopelessly lost."
Wonder if I'm having a bad patch now then. I reflect on today, and am not really pleased with myself. Was late for work, and think I was punished for it in a subtle way, may have hurt a friend's feelings unknowingly as well. Oh well. Do better tomorrow then.
Was at the Night Safari on friday night, spent a fair bit of time being lost trying to drive there. Couldn't remember the last time I went there, but I must say it was a very nice place to go to. I guess I'm just a simple guy revisiting my childhood, where my parents used to bring me to the zoo every week. Loved the open concept of the place, turned around at one point and saw a yawning hyena behind me. Also saw a very breathtaking sight of a quiet lake next to the giraffe exhibit, which made me stand there for a while taking it in. Really liked the place.
Campfire was rather ok to me, but didn't go down too well with the guys, so they adjourned to my place to watch 300 (again!) and the Man Utd vs boro match. Bit my right index finger nail off till it bled, that was how tense and disappointed I was. Good thing Newcastle chaopiahed and held chelski, was watching that match as well and was bored to tears, was only happy about the result.
At the end of the day, I place my faith in all things visceral, those that are discernible to me and mean something to me. If it does seem like me attempting to just take all the complexities of the world and disregard all that I feel is not important, I must admit that there is an element of that involved. Maybe I'm just stubborn, headstrong and too proud, but I relish control over my own life far too much, without it, I think this life would be meaningless. Wanting to do what I want to do, when I want to do it, to maximise my personal preferences, to make your own decisions and to be responsible for them, that's the life I want.

Why, you ask?
Because, I want to.