Revive Revival
Never thought I'll start writing here again, but I guess life has its way of making things go full circle.
Oh well, quit whining, apps, hasting bass essay, fiduciary duties tutorial, hire of the coach bus, come up with qns await me.
I always said a happy person does not blog.
Well, as of now, I'm not feeling happy.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Keeping the faith
Recently I read an article about people converting from Taoism to Christianity and one of the reasons they cited was that Taoism placed emphasis on respecting parents, wealth and other worldly pursuits, which they found very shallow and unfufilling. I'm not here to debate this point about religions, but I just want to talk about this point.
I think, the main point is that people rather place their faith in things that are rather intangible than earthly people. I can understand why. You place your faith in people, and invariably, like it or not, they will let you down, despite their best efforts. When you were growing up, you thought the world of your parents, thought they knew everything and anything, and were in awe of them. But as you grow up, you realise that they don't know everything, they are as flawed as any human being in this world. And then you decide not to follow their advice anymore, for you think that they don't know any better. And what if your parents did not fufil their duties very well, the case for respecting them and placing your faith in them is further weakened.
Friends may stab you in the back faster than you can think about it. Friends you know from young can drift apart over an argument, or just merely distance.
Your lover may get so fed up with you, until the point she'll leave you. There can be only so much love can take, until it warps into hate, then the scariest emotion of them all. Indifference.
We human beings are evil. We are irredeemable, disgusting creatures that love ourselves only. Even those people whom you thought were heroes and are worth placing your faith on, sooner or later someone will tear down their facade and expose their ugly side, and the worst part is people do that to feel better about themselves, to let that guy know, hey you ain't any special, you're just like us, selfish creatures who can't give a damn about other people. People cheat, lie, hate, plot, harass, procrastinate, act in manners that are so despicable, and the worst part is, they know the consequences of their actions, and yet they still go ahead to do it.
A world like this, you wonder why one has the will to wake up everyday to strive on.
This world has charities misspending donations, friends betraying each other, people fighting over inheritances, brother against brother, where Russia invades Georgia on the day of the Olympics where people dismiss as a lightshow for the masses, just like the 43rd birthday of our Home Inc.
And yet.
And yet I wake up everyday to strive on.
It is not some misplaced optimisim that the world will change itself overnight, or that things will be alright, or that someone, somewhere, untainted from all this cyncism will rise up and salvage humanity.
Rather, I believe it is more likely we will drown in our own hate and bile.
I strive on because, even though my family is flawed, my friends are flawed, my life is flawed, there are moments out there, fleeting yes, but are there for me to grasp and enjoy.
I strive one because I know that, despite being a flawed individual predisposed to evil, I can fight the internal evil by forcing it under, by fighting that never ending struggle, all because of a simple reason.
I love my flawed family, my flawed friends, my flawed lover.
Love does not conquer everything. Love does not resurrect the dead, heal the deepest of wounds, nor can it be the panacea to the world.
Love is frankly a useless and pointless emotion, designed to make one trudge on in life. The ultimate opiate for the masses, the joke of the gods who play it amongst us mortals.
And yet.
And yet I decide to love. To love is to hate at the same time, for it is passion.
We are all disgusting wastes of protoplasms to begin with already. I don't have great aspirations, I just want to love those who are important to me, despite them being flawed in the most hopeless and incorrigble of ways. For I am flawed as well, and I as a person do not deserve any faith placed on me, for it'll just invariably bring about pain and suffering to those who decide to rely on me.
I have known happiness, pain, friendship, love, grief, loss, and many other emotions. I know enough that this lousy world I live in will never change.
But that will not stop me from placing my faith in people flawed as they may be, infallible gods they are not.
Why? Maybe I'm a born masochist. But I like to believe that, there is some good in all our evil selves, and that maybe if I showered them with a bit of love, that useless and pointless emotion, perhaps in my nice corner of my life I can make the world a bit better for them.
I am evil. I don't deserve good stuff happening to me. So I rather make the people important to me happy.
I guess, I'm just an evil person loving you with all he has.
Recently I read an article about people converting from Taoism to Christianity and one of the reasons they cited was that Taoism placed emphasis on respecting parents, wealth and other worldly pursuits, which they found very shallow and unfufilling. I'm not here to debate this point about religions, but I just want to talk about this point.
I think, the main point is that people rather place their faith in things that are rather intangible than earthly people. I can understand why. You place your faith in people, and invariably, like it or not, they will let you down, despite their best efforts. When you were growing up, you thought the world of your parents, thought they knew everything and anything, and were in awe of them. But as you grow up, you realise that they don't know everything, they are as flawed as any human being in this world. And then you decide not to follow their advice anymore, for you think that they don't know any better. And what if your parents did not fufil their duties very well, the case for respecting them and placing your faith in them is further weakened.
Friends may stab you in the back faster than you can think about it. Friends you know from young can drift apart over an argument, or just merely distance.
Your lover may get so fed up with you, until the point she'll leave you. There can be only so much love can take, until it warps into hate, then the scariest emotion of them all. Indifference.
We human beings are evil. We are irredeemable, disgusting creatures that love ourselves only. Even those people whom you thought were heroes and are worth placing your faith on, sooner or later someone will tear down their facade and expose their ugly side, and the worst part is people do that to feel better about themselves, to let that guy know, hey you ain't any special, you're just like us, selfish creatures who can't give a damn about other people. People cheat, lie, hate, plot, harass, procrastinate, act in manners that are so despicable, and the worst part is, they know the consequences of their actions, and yet they still go ahead to do it.
A world like this, you wonder why one has the will to wake up everyday to strive on.
This world has charities misspending donations, friends betraying each other, people fighting over inheritances, brother against brother, where Russia invades Georgia on the day of the Olympics where people dismiss as a lightshow for the masses, just like the 43rd birthday of our Home Inc.
And yet.
And yet I wake up everyday to strive on.
It is not some misplaced optimisim that the world will change itself overnight, or that things will be alright, or that someone, somewhere, untainted from all this cyncism will rise up and salvage humanity.
Rather, I believe it is more likely we will drown in our own hate and bile.
I strive on because, even though my family is flawed, my friends are flawed, my life is flawed, there are moments out there, fleeting yes, but are there for me to grasp and enjoy.
I strive one because I know that, despite being a flawed individual predisposed to evil, I can fight the internal evil by forcing it under, by fighting that never ending struggle, all because of a simple reason.
I love my flawed family, my flawed friends, my flawed lover.
Love does not conquer everything. Love does not resurrect the dead, heal the deepest of wounds, nor can it be the panacea to the world.
Love is frankly a useless and pointless emotion, designed to make one trudge on in life. The ultimate opiate for the masses, the joke of the gods who play it amongst us mortals.
And yet.
And yet I decide to love. To love is to hate at the same time, for it is passion.
We are all disgusting wastes of protoplasms to begin with already. I don't have great aspirations, I just want to love those who are important to me, despite them being flawed in the most hopeless and incorrigble of ways. For I am flawed as well, and I as a person do not deserve any faith placed on me, for it'll just invariably bring about pain and suffering to those who decide to rely on me.
I have known happiness, pain, friendship, love, grief, loss, and many other emotions. I know enough that this lousy world I live in will never change.
But that will not stop me from placing my faith in people flawed as they may be, infallible gods they are not.
Why? Maybe I'm a born masochist. But I like to believe that, there is some good in all our evil selves, and that maybe if I showered them with a bit of love, that useless and pointless emotion, perhaps in my nice corner of my life I can make the world a bit better for them.
I am evil. I don't deserve good stuff happening to me. So I rather make the people important to me happy.
I guess, I'm just an evil person loving you with all he has.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Lousy
I hate letting people down.
But I only have myself to blame.
Somehow, I prefer that they get angry with me, instead of saying it's alright with a voice filled with resignation and disappointment.
But yeah, that is just me trying to make myself feel better, as I subconsciously think that once the anger is gone, everything will be fine again.
Argh argh argh.
I really am damn fricking irritated and angry with myself now, but it's pointless.
"From now on I'll just not expect anything from others so I won't be disappointed anymore."
These words made me feel the worst ever chill run through my whole body.
I hate letting people down.
But I only have myself to blame.
Somehow, I prefer that they get angry with me, instead of saying it's alright with a voice filled with resignation and disappointment.
But yeah, that is just me trying to make myself feel better, as I subconsciously think that once the anger is gone, everything will be fine again.
Argh argh argh.
I really am damn fricking irritated and angry with myself now, but it's pointless.
"From now on I'll just not expect anything from others so I won't be disappointed anymore."
These words made me feel the worst ever chill run through my whole body.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
Of the most improbable of events
Alan is a famous politician hated by Dave, an enthusiast for voodoo. Dave believes that he can cause brain damage to Alan by sticking needles into his effigy. Dave foresees two problems, first, that he is not sure he can make a sufficiently accurate effigy of Alan and secondly, getting the needles into the exact parts of the effigy’s head will be exceedingly complex. He decides to go to Madame Tussaud’s to try out the spell on Alan’s effigy, fully expecting that he will need a second trip as he is bound to stick the pins in wrongly the first time around. On arriving at the effigy the coast seems clear and Dave sticks a number of pins into it, ruining it beyond repair. Paula arrives but Dave, seeing that she does not look hostile, explains to her what he is doing. Paula happens to be a researcher working for Alan and sends him a text message describing the scene. Alan is so amused on reading it that he rocks back on his chair and cracks his skull on the wall, which causes him brain-damage.
Consider Dave’s criminal liability, ignoring any issue of insanity. Add critical comments where you think the law is unsatisfactory.
From the KCL 2007 summer exam for criminal law. Seriously, WTF.
Alan is a famous politician hated by Dave, an enthusiast for voodoo. Dave believes that he can cause brain damage to Alan by sticking needles into his effigy. Dave foresees two problems, first, that he is not sure he can make a sufficiently accurate effigy of Alan and secondly, getting the needles into the exact parts of the effigy’s head will be exceedingly complex. He decides to go to Madame Tussaud’s to try out the spell on Alan’s effigy, fully expecting that he will need a second trip as he is bound to stick the pins in wrongly the first time around. On arriving at the effigy the coast seems clear and Dave sticks a number of pins into it, ruining it beyond repair. Paula arrives but Dave, seeing that she does not look hostile, explains to her what he is doing. Paula happens to be a researcher working for Alan and sends him a text message describing the scene. Alan is so amused on reading it that he rocks back on his chair and cracks his skull on the wall, which causes him brain-damage.
Consider Dave’s criminal liability, ignoring any issue of insanity. Add critical comments where you think the law is unsatisfactory.
From the KCL 2007 summer exam for criminal law. Seriously, WTF.
ZY v Exams
Ok, not the most imaginative title I must admit, but yeah law is taking over my life as it is. Going crazy as the seasons reaches the business end of it. Exams in 2 weeks, and although I think I understand the concepts involved, but I have yet to commit them to memory, which renders the understanding part moot. Oh well, I desperately need to get some momentum going but EU law is boring as hell and I don't feel like to tackling it at all. Need to bite the bullet.
They never do things the easy way right? Having said that friedel was god like on sat. This sets up 3 tantalising matches in a row, bacra chelski barca. Worth taking time off studying to watch.
Today's hall dinner was the worst experience I had. Firstly, the (newly upgraded) lift was out of service, so I had to walk down 9 floors to get to the dining area. Then as it was the weekend, like cookhouse the food was crappy, and the server was the usual weekend lady who is very sullen and surly. And because it's a weekend, the more decent options tend to run out very quickly, so you have to go down early to ensure you don't end up with the lousy food. I chose the most unoffensive option, and went to get my cutlery, and lo and behold, there were only metal knives left. I knew it was pointless to ask for more cutlery, as the washer will take some time to clean it anyway, thus just grabbed 2 knives and ate my pork with potatoes, and drank my luxury hot chocolate from a paper cup. My hallmate was worst off, as he had to eat the same thing with 2 plastic knives. The reason for the paucity of cutlery is due to the fact that the residents (not me) keep on koping the cups and cutlery, until the point the cookhouse has to ration. But it's ridiculous really, but yeah since I'm moving out in another 2 months I really can't be bothered. They better fix the lift though, as AO puts it, if he wants to go down now he has to think properly before going down otherwise he'll be cursing all the way up again.
And AO looks like a real lion these few days. I bet his encik will get a heart attack if he goes back for ICT like that.
There's a homecoming party for RJC-ians (sic) class of 2004 to 2007. Firstly, please use the term Rafflesians not RJC-ians, it just sounds wrong. And reading the facebook event, I doubt any batch of 2004 would go. It'll just be a reminder of how old we are and how far we have gone from RJC already.
It's quite scary to hear how far ahead my female peers are already, while I'm still a 1st year student. I just feel a bit distant from them now, especially since we have followed radically different paths ever since we left RJ. Nevertheless, those I'm closer to I'm still in contact with, and it's always nice to talk to them as they have been there done that in terms of uni and give good advice.
Just can't wait for the exams to be over, and then will finally be able to go home to sunny and rainy Singapore. Until then, really have to concentrate to do well.
On a happier note, 5 more days! :)
Held: Needs to study more. Much much more.
Ok, not the most imaginative title I must admit, but yeah law is taking over my life as it is. Going crazy as the seasons reaches the business end of it. Exams in 2 weeks, and although I think I understand the concepts involved, but I have yet to commit them to memory, which renders the understanding part moot. Oh well, I desperately need to get some momentum going but EU law is boring as hell and I don't feel like to tackling it at all. Need to bite the bullet.
They never do things the easy way right? Having said that friedel was god like on sat. This sets up 3 tantalising matches in a row, bacra chelski barca. Worth taking time off studying to watch.
Today's hall dinner was the worst experience I had. Firstly, the (newly upgraded) lift was out of service, so I had to walk down 9 floors to get to the dining area. Then as it was the weekend, like cookhouse the food was crappy, and the server was the usual weekend lady who is very sullen and surly. And because it's a weekend, the more decent options tend to run out very quickly, so you have to go down early to ensure you don't end up with the lousy food. I chose the most unoffensive option, and went to get my cutlery, and lo and behold, there were only metal knives left. I knew it was pointless to ask for more cutlery, as the washer will take some time to clean it anyway, thus just grabbed 2 knives and ate my pork with potatoes, and drank my luxury hot chocolate from a paper cup. My hallmate was worst off, as he had to eat the same thing with 2 plastic knives. The reason for the paucity of cutlery is due to the fact that the residents (not me) keep on koping the cups and cutlery, until the point the cookhouse has to ration. But it's ridiculous really, but yeah since I'm moving out in another 2 months I really can't be bothered. They better fix the lift though, as AO puts it, if he wants to go down now he has to think properly before going down otherwise he'll be cursing all the way up again.
And AO looks like a real lion these few days. I bet his encik will get a heart attack if he goes back for ICT like that.
There's a homecoming party for RJC-ians (sic) class of 2004 to 2007. Firstly, please use the term Rafflesians not RJC-ians, it just sounds wrong. And reading the facebook event, I doubt any batch of 2004 would go. It'll just be a reminder of how old we are and how far we have gone from RJC already.
It's quite scary to hear how far ahead my female peers are already, while I'm still a 1st year student. I just feel a bit distant from them now, especially since we have followed radically different paths ever since we left RJ. Nevertheless, those I'm closer to I'm still in contact with, and it's always nice to talk to them as they have been there done that in terms of uni and give good advice.
Just can't wait for the exams to be over, and then will finally be able to go home to sunny and rainy Singapore. Until then, really have to concentrate to do well.
On a happier note, 5 more days! :)
Held: Needs to study more. Much much more.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Academic renaissance
Ok I have been hearing about people getting weird dreams, which is probably due to the stress of studying so much, and I have joined this exclusive club. On Wednesday, while poring over my criminal notes, I fell asleep on my bed.
I can vaguely remember it as suddenly I felt the bed shake. I thought, shit it's an earthquake. So I got up and bizarrely tried to input my password into my laptop so that I can take it along with me. But somehow I couldn't really do it, as it was shaking too much, but I finally managed to do it. Then next thing I can remember was my room felt like the house in Wizard of Oz which was being carried away by a twister. I saw a shoe rack outside my window filled with shoes then I thought the shoes will drop out of the rack, and thus I opened my window to retrieve them. But in my haste, I dropped a few shoes, so I got exasperated and somehow got the room to land and got out to retrieve the fallen shoes. Bizarre I tell you.
Earthquake
To dream of an earthquake, suggests that you are experiencing a major "shake-up" that is threatening your stability and foundation. The dream highlights you insecurity, fears and sense of helplessness. If you find cover from the quake, you will overcome these challenges. If you become trapped or injured during the quake, you will suffer loss of your business and assets.
Hmm ok.. I guess the "shake up" refers to exams. Anyway, as a result of that, I got up at 12 midnight, decided it was futile to study anymore, and went to sleep. Slept for 12 hours, thus was super alert the next day and did quite a lot of studying. Was helped by the fact I got from Sam Utada Hikaru's Heart Station, the tunes in the album was very upbeat and unless I concentrate very hard I can get the lyrics, so the level of distraction is lower.
Getting scared shitless already. Exams are coming so fast and I haven't really remembered everything. Small consolation is that somehow topics I knew nuts about in the past when I study them now I can understand them.
Filling up my summer schedule. Hopefully it'll be a fruitful and interesting summer.
Can't wait for exams to be over, and thus herald the start of 4 months of relaxation.
Ok I have been hearing about people getting weird dreams, which is probably due to the stress of studying so much, and I have joined this exclusive club. On Wednesday, while poring over my criminal notes, I fell asleep on my bed.
I can vaguely remember it as suddenly I felt the bed shake. I thought, shit it's an earthquake. So I got up and bizarrely tried to input my password into my laptop so that I can take it along with me. But somehow I couldn't really do it, as it was shaking too much, but I finally managed to do it. Then next thing I can remember was my room felt like the house in Wizard of Oz which was being carried away by a twister. I saw a shoe rack outside my window filled with shoes then I thought the shoes will drop out of the rack, and thus I opened my window to retrieve them. But in my haste, I dropped a few shoes, so I got exasperated and somehow got the room to land and got out to retrieve the fallen shoes. Bizarre I tell you.
Earthquake
To dream of an earthquake, suggests that you are experiencing a major "shake-up" that is threatening your stability and foundation. The dream highlights you insecurity, fears and sense of helplessness. If you find cover from the quake, you will overcome these challenges. If you become trapped or injured during the quake, you will suffer loss of your business and assets.
Hmm ok.. I guess the "shake up" refers to exams. Anyway, as a result of that, I got up at 12 midnight, decided it was futile to study anymore, and went to sleep. Slept for 12 hours, thus was super alert the next day and did quite a lot of studying. Was helped by the fact I got from Sam Utada Hikaru's Heart Station, the tunes in the album was very upbeat and unless I concentrate very hard I can get the lyrics, so the level of distraction is lower.
Getting scared shitless already. Exams are coming so fast and I haven't really remembered everything. Small consolation is that somehow topics I knew nuts about in the past when I study them now I can understand them.
Filling up my summer schedule. Hopefully it'll be a fruitful and interesting summer.
Can't wait for exams to be over, and thus herald the start of 4 months of relaxation.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Same side of the moon
By Corrinne May
I'm looking out the window
Where we sat to watch the stars
There's a chill within the air
It makes my heart long for your touch
You may be miles away
But as I kneel to pray
I see the same side of the moon
That we'll be looking on when the world turns blue
And know that time and space can't come between me and you
We share the same side of the moon
And though you'll never see all the tears shine through
I know I can't be that far from you
If we're both looking on the same side of the moon
I picture you across the ocean
In your corner of the world
I pray the wind will blow my voice
And gently whisper in your ear
Your night may be my day
And though the seasons change
It's still the same side of the moon
That we'll be looking on when the world turns blue
And know that time and space can't come between me and you
We share the same side of the moon
And though you'll never see all the tears shine through
I know I can't be that far from you
If we're both looking on the same side of the moon
I know I can't be that far from you
If we're both looking on the same side of the moon
By Corrinne May
I'm looking out the window
Where we sat to watch the stars
There's a chill within the air
It makes my heart long for your touch
You may be miles away
But as I kneel to pray
I see the same side of the moon
That we'll be looking on when the world turns blue
And know that time and space can't come between me and you
We share the same side of the moon
And though you'll never see all the tears shine through
I know I can't be that far from you
If we're both looking on the same side of the moon
I picture you across the ocean
In your corner of the world
I pray the wind will blow my voice
And gently whisper in your ear
Your night may be my day
And though the seasons change
It's still the same side of the moon
That we'll be looking on when the world turns blue
And know that time and space can't come between me and you
We share the same side of the moon
And though you'll never see all the tears shine through
I know I can't be that far from you
If we're both looking on the same side of the moon
I know I can't be that far from you
If we're both looking on the same side of the moon
Sunday, April 13, 2008
The world stopped for the endless poem
What I owe this blog is a long entry, and it shall get one.
USA trip was fun, memorable as the company was crazy, the trip really was very memorable because of andrew and his many quips, what with his helicopters, cider, strip clubs, sarah marshall, phallic symbols, 21 and other nonsense. Not to make fun of andrew of course, but yah the trip wouldn't be half as fun if you weren't along to make us laugh or dumbstruck.
Boston was really cold, and boring as most of the students went back home and it was easter weekend. New York was more fun of course, but I felt that the place lacked a bit of soul, and a lot of the attractions were very man made and artificial. But I must admit there was a sort of vibe that ran through the city, and being the city boy I took to the place well. Shopping at the outlet was madness, I just grabbed and went, as a result spent a lot of money. But it was good stuff, but yeah despite the increase in wardrobe items I haven't been going out much as there is a small matter of exams to study for.
And that's what I have been doing ever since I got back. Trying to cram 1 year's worth of work into 4 weeks is no joke, and I have found it hard going so far. Hopefully I can pick up the pace and at least do decently well. Have taken to taking up residence in the various libraries in London to study, to escape all the distractions.
Oh for those who actually care, I'm returning to Singapore on the 21st of June. My exams end early May, then it's off to Copenhagen and Italy.
Can't wait to go home. Lately I have had more time for introspection, and I have to come to realise that although I like to wander off and see new stuff, there's still no place like home to just kick back and relax with your family.
What I would love is to have steamboat with my family on the deck on a cold night. Or just durians in the kitchen.
And I will get that photo taken when I go back.
Just 2 and a half more months to go.
But first, just 13 more days to go.
What I owe this blog is a long entry, and it shall get one.
USA trip was fun, memorable as the company was crazy, the trip really was very memorable because of andrew and his many quips, what with his helicopters, cider, strip clubs, sarah marshall, phallic symbols, 21 and other nonsense. Not to make fun of andrew of course, but yah the trip wouldn't be half as fun if you weren't along to make us laugh or dumbstruck.
Boston was really cold, and boring as most of the students went back home and it was easter weekend. New York was more fun of course, but I felt that the place lacked a bit of soul, and a lot of the attractions were very man made and artificial. But I must admit there was a sort of vibe that ran through the city, and being the city boy I took to the place well. Shopping at the outlet was madness, I just grabbed and went, as a result spent a lot of money. But it was good stuff, but yeah despite the increase in wardrobe items I haven't been going out much as there is a small matter of exams to study for.
And that's what I have been doing ever since I got back. Trying to cram 1 year's worth of work into 4 weeks is no joke, and I have found it hard going so far. Hopefully I can pick up the pace and at least do decently well. Have taken to taking up residence in the various libraries in London to study, to escape all the distractions.
Oh for those who actually care, I'm returning to Singapore on the 21st of June. My exams end early May, then it's off to Copenhagen and Italy.
Can't wait to go home. Lately I have had more time for introspection, and I have to come to realise that although I like to wander off and see new stuff, there's still no place like home to just kick back and relax with your family.
What I would love is to have steamboat with my family on the deck on a cold night. Or just durians in the kitchen.
And I will get that photo taken when I go back.
Just 2 and a half more months to go.
But first, just 13 more days to go.
Monday, April 07, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
Pacta Sunt Servanda
Latin for "agreements must be kept". Coursework madness. Seems like everyone is stressing out over it today, but I haven't really started writing, been doing things that I feel are more important instead.
It's going to be a trying week emotionally, but I'm sure I'll get through it. Besides, once Sat rolls on I'll be chilling with the fencers in USA.
It's the end of a very interesting first year. Uni has really brightened up my life. And I have found someone that I care for greatly.
Still have a lot of things to work on, like my inability to mug hard, and my lack of real things to add to my CV, and my general attendance and work with regards to law school. But as usual, I have faith in myself, and with the encouragement and support of those who care about me, I believe I can scale greater heights.
Latin for "agreements must be kept". Coursework madness. Seems like everyone is stressing out over it today, but I haven't really started writing, been doing things that I feel are more important instead.
It's going to be a trying week emotionally, but I'm sure I'll get through it. Besides, once Sat rolls on I'll be chilling with the fencers in USA.
It's the end of a very interesting first year. Uni has really brightened up my life. And I have found someone that I care for greatly.
Still have a lot of things to work on, like my inability to mug hard, and my lack of real things to add to my CV, and my general attendance and work with regards to law school. But as usual, I have faith in myself, and with the encouragement and support of those who care about me, I believe I can scale greater heights.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Reassurance
I'm much better now. The strains that were affecting me during the last post have now subsided a bit. But still have strains like coursework, eu essay and other what nots to deal with. But at least I'm in a better stead to deal with it.
Wanting to have your cake and eat it is impossible, something I realised recently. Strange, I always thought I knew that already.
I'm much better now. The strains that were affecting me during the last post have now subsided a bit. But still have strains like coursework, eu essay and other what nots to deal with. But at least I'm in a better stead to deal with it.
Wanting to have your cake and eat it is impossible, something I realised recently. Strange, I always thought I knew that already.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Frustrated contract
I feel tired.
I really feel tired.
It's a thurday night of a very trying week, and I have not prepared for tomorrow's criminal tutorial. During the week I went for things I did not want to go for, do things I did not want to do, basically had my will subjugated on several occasions, all in the name of duty. Can't be a good thing for my well being.
Just can't wait for term to end. I feel like I'm as usual, dragging myself over the finishing line yet again. Can never seem to finish off strongly.
So many things bugging me, things like people going back to Singapore rubbing it in my face, doing things I don't want to do, wanting my way yet being too considerate and nice to insist on it.
I'll be fine after a bit of sleep and rest, I know.
I just hope I don't blow up at anyone though.
I feel tired.
I really feel tired.
It's a thurday night of a very trying week, and I have not prepared for tomorrow's criminal tutorial. During the week I went for things I did not want to go for, do things I did not want to do, basically had my will subjugated on several occasions, all in the name of duty. Can't be a good thing for my well being.
Just can't wait for term to end. I feel like I'm as usual, dragging myself over the finishing line yet again. Can never seem to finish off strongly.
So many things bugging me, things like people going back to Singapore rubbing it in my face, doing things I don't want to do, wanting my way yet being too considerate and nice to insist on it.
I'll be fine after a bit of sleep and rest, I know.
I just hope I don't blow up at anyone though.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Flag Fighters
Graham Aker is the coolest pilot in Gundam 00. Love him even more now after he used his cool black custom Flag to take on the Throne Eins and sliced its right hand off, and grabbing his beam saber as well in the process. Badass.
Writing this on a strangely boring sunday. Revision has been stop start, and my laptop gave way like 7 times already. Hoping it'll last to the end of the entry. Everyone seems to be out of hall tonight, strangely enough. I think some of them are at the SUKA dinner which I did not go for I guess.
Spent 2 days odd freezing my butt off in Oxford. Went over on friday afternoon and bunked with Andrew along with YQ, and we managed to meet up with Gladys and Crystal. We ate good food throughout the 2 days, and i had this weird craving for the very artery clogging lifespan shortening kebabs sold from vans along the streets. We woke up at 11 on sat, went about to sightsee, ended up covering christ church, st johns' and 3 museums. Managed to get back in time to watch the 4th goal as Man Utd thumped arsenal 4-0. Woohoo!
Tried to con the bus driver to let me go back on sat night when my ticket was for sun morning, but he had none of it. Thus YQ went back first as he bought a sat night ticket and I being a cheapsakte bought a cheaper sun morning ticket. Andrew's room, although big, was darn cold and the first night as I slept on the sofa without any cover I slept fitfully. I ended up sleeping wearing my outer jacket socks and gloves!
Returned to London via the morning bus, only to be greeted with -3 degrees London weather! Weather is taking a turn for the worse now, which isn't a very nice thing.
Spent a very hectic reading week prior to the trip, what with rushing essays and cooking for various people. I had 3 satisfied consumers of my cooking, and glad to say no diarhorrea reports. I must admit I'm still a one trick pony, so hoping to improve on my standards from now on! Hopefully can experiment a bit more with regards to cooking in the days to come.
And I am now a proud owner of a new blue scarf, which was intended to strangle me with if I decide to be an idiot! Well I won't give you a reason to strangle me with it!
Now is really the time to show colour. It's frightening to think that, there's only 5 more weeks of lectures before revision kicks in. And soon the 1st year of university will be over. The clock has to be fought, and I will do my best to do so.
Graham Aker is the coolest pilot in Gundam 00. Love him even more now after he used his cool black custom Flag to take on the Throne Eins and sliced its right hand off, and grabbing his beam saber as well in the process. Badass.
Writing this on a strangely boring sunday. Revision has been stop start, and my laptop gave way like 7 times already. Hoping it'll last to the end of the entry. Everyone seems to be out of hall tonight, strangely enough. I think some of them are at the SUKA dinner which I did not go for I guess.
Spent 2 days odd freezing my butt off in Oxford. Went over on friday afternoon and bunked with Andrew along with YQ, and we managed to meet up with Gladys and Crystal. We ate good food throughout the 2 days, and i had this weird craving for the very artery clogging lifespan shortening kebabs sold from vans along the streets. We woke up at 11 on sat, went about to sightsee, ended up covering christ church, st johns' and 3 museums. Managed to get back in time to watch the 4th goal as Man Utd thumped arsenal 4-0. Woohoo!
Tried to con the bus driver to let me go back on sat night when my ticket was for sun morning, but he had none of it. Thus YQ went back first as he bought a sat night ticket and I being a cheapsakte bought a cheaper sun morning ticket. Andrew's room, although big, was darn cold and the first night as I slept on the sofa without any cover I slept fitfully. I ended up sleeping wearing my outer jacket socks and gloves!
Returned to London via the morning bus, only to be greeted with -3 degrees London weather! Weather is taking a turn for the worse now, which isn't a very nice thing.
Spent a very hectic reading week prior to the trip, what with rushing essays and cooking for various people. I had 3 satisfied consumers of my cooking, and glad to say no diarhorrea reports. I must admit I'm still a one trick pony, so hoping to improve on my standards from now on! Hopefully can experiment a bit more with regards to cooking in the days to come.
And I am now a proud owner of a new blue scarf, which was intended to strangle me with if I decide to be an idiot! Well I won't give you a reason to strangle me with it!
Now is really the time to show colour. It's frightening to think that, there's only 5 more weeks of lectures before revision kicks in. And soon the 1st year of university will be over. The clock has to be fought, and I will do my best to do so.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Dionysian Decadence
Change of template was neccessitated by the fact the formating went a bit haywire for some unknown reason.
Reading week now, saddled with 4 essays and a lot of revision to be done. At least am going to oxford this weekend to meet up with a few people and check out the place.
Sunday was the HC CNY carnival, but was feeling lousy for my stomach was always threatening to make me merlion (note to self: alcohol+ ben & jerry's= bad idea) and the bumpy bus ride to imperial college via oxford st was making it worse. It was quite fun though, albeit the stalls were limited. Ate the free yu sheng but failed to win the ipod in the lucky draw.
Monday had a CNY dinner for 5 pounds which was really not filling, and just came back from dinner with W. Not good for the wallet.
As Nick often says, more people read my blog than I know, and I recently found out my hallmate YW reads my blog haha. Say hi on the tagboard please. Good thing I never badmouth people on my blog or I have a whole bunch of secret enemies.
There seems to be a lot to think about or muse about, but I like to believe that whatever that wants to happen will happen.
I wrote the below entry a year back, but never posted it. Since the tyranny of 14th Feb is going to be upon us soon again, I shall let it see the light of day.
The tyranny of 14th Feb is upon us
Brothers in arms, the beast returns again. It descends upon us with its fangs bared, ready to tear our wallets or hearts to shreds. We must rally to counter this threat! Gather all your chocolates, flowers and sweet nothings to help repel the beast!
But in all seriousness, 14th Feb is my brother's birthday, so I reckon I'll be at home celebrating his birthday instead of joining the lovey-dovey crowds out there. I can then drown myself in my self pity by playing soppy love songs and sighing. Right.
I remember spending v day in J1 with Mog, Nick and Mew watching Catch Me If You Can, J2 in school talking cock with the guys, having to book in the day before in 2005, on duty while the others who have girlfriends take off in 2006.
Actually I feel like writing a lot of stuff here, but it doesn't really seem to want to come out in words. It's more like a collage of feelings and emotions, each of them so subtle and nebulous, fleeing away once I try to put them down in writing. But yeah, I won't be moping around come 14th Feb. I guess what I'm feeling now is just the usual backlash of emotions I get when I don't sleep enough and start imagining things in the middle of the night.
Let's just say I don't echo these sentiments anymore this year.
Change of template was neccessitated by the fact the formating went a bit haywire for some unknown reason.
Reading week now, saddled with 4 essays and a lot of revision to be done. At least am going to oxford this weekend to meet up with a few people and check out the place.
Sunday was the HC CNY carnival, but was feeling lousy for my stomach was always threatening to make me merlion (note to self: alcohol+ ben & jerry's= bad idea) and the bumpy bus ride to imperial college via oxford st was making it worse. It was quite fun though, albeit the stalls were limited. Ate the free yu sheng but failed to win the ipod in the lucky draw.
Monday had a CNY dinner for 5 pounds which was really not filling, and just came back from dinner with W. Not good for the wallet.
As Nick often says, more people read my blog than I know, and I recently found out my hallmate YW reads my blog haha. Say hi on the tagboard please. Good thing I never badmouth people on my blog or I have a whole bunch of secret enemies.
There seems to be a lot to think about or muse about, but I like to believe that whatever that wants to happen will happen.
I wrote the below entry a year back, but never posted it. Since the tyranny of 14th Feb is going to be upon us soon again, I shall let it see the light of day.
The tyranny of 14th Feb is upon us
Brothers in arms, the beast returns again. It descends upon us with its fangs bared, ready to tear our wallets or hearts to shreds. We must rally to counter this threat! Gather all your chocolates, flowers and sweet nothings to help repel the beast!
But in all seriousness, 14th Feb is my brother's birthday, so I reckon I'll be at home celebrating his birthday instead of joining the lovey-dovey crowds out there. I can then drown myself in my self pity by playing soppy love songs and sighing. Right.
I remember spending v day in J1 with Mog, Nick and Mew watching Catch Me If You Can, J2 in school talking cock with the guys, having to book in the day before in 2005, on duty while the others who have girlfriends take off in 2006.
Actually I feel like writing a lot of stuff here, but it doesn't really seem to want to come out in words. It's more like a collage of feelings and emotions, each of them so subtle and nebulous, fleeing away once I try to put them down in writing. But yeah, I won't be moping around come 14th Feb. I guess what I'm feeling now is just the usual backlash of emotions I get when I don't sleep enough and start imagining things in the middle of the night.
Let's just say I don't echo these sentiments anymore this year.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)