All that you can leave behind

It always starts with someone checking his handphone many times when you're out with the guys, withdrawing from the conversation for a while as he sends a reply, and not soon after he'll get another message and the cycle repeats itself. Then next comes the "Sorry guys I'm not free tomorrow you guys go ahead". Then the final confirmation would be something along the lines of "Hi guys I have a confession." With that, he'll then graduate to more interesting behaviour like disappearing upstairs during a mahjong game to "settle something" for 30 minutes while the other 3 players build pyramids out of the tiles.
I told a friend that as guys we'll never forget the first girl we fell really hard for. And also we agreed that you tend to think of the girl you really like when you're really down in the dumps, say like in BMT running through the jungles of tekong with camo cream and sweat on your face lugging that obstinate M-16 around, wearing that blasted no. 4 that Felicia Chin looks damn good in.
The time of departure is close. Am still busy with my commitments, especially so this week, but once all this is over, it's time to devote my time to getting my new life into order and saying a long and draggy goodbye to my old one.
I ate my grandmother's excellent fish head bee hoon for dinner the last 2 nights. The previous night I only intended to eat a smaller bowl as I still felt full, but in the end I ate 3 bowls worth and felt so full. Something that I'll definitely miss there.
I could repeat everything we said when Jim Nick and I, as Jim puts it, "went to the vivo seaside and emo-ed", but no point. It's to head out.
And for a crazy moment last week, I did something bad that could have destroyed a friendship, but thankfully it didn't. I'm just appalled by my lack of control, my sudden weakness, and hope that it doesn't happen again. Hence, never again.
There's still so much left to be done. Tomorrow is my last Japanese language class, can't believe I actually followed it through for about 6 months already. As I told Adrian, I managed to languidly read a passage without stopping to check my notes the other day. Was quite happy with myself.
Still want to visit parts of Singapore before I jet off. Be it the Birdpark or just simply Sembawang park, just to check out some places that are significant to me.
This post sounds extremely disjointed. Perhaps it's just my reluctance to dwell on feelings about my impending departure.
You're leaving, deal with it Zhao Yang.