Self-destructive tendencies

Well, as I expected, am feeling quite hard to come back to earth after the euphoria of campfire, somehow I feel like I have to do something, then I remind myself most of commitments have coem to a very satisfactory end.
Got jabbed very close to my right eye today by adrian. I was, in hindsight, very lucky, as his blade merely struck my cheekbone and bounced away from my eye. Furthermore, I still had the presence of mind to drop to the floor to avoid futher damage. I was quite shaken after that, considering that I almost lost my sight. Fortunately, all I got was a bruise under my eye.
Today's record. Lost to adrian 15-8, pei yi 15-9. Beat steph 15-7.
Must curb my self-destructive tendencies, spending far too much time on the computer...
Sighz, hope that I can get a good rest over the national day weekend are dashed.
About another thing, as a rule of thumb, I respect all teachers, unless they prove unworthy of my respect. Teacher or not, if you are screwed up, you are screwed up. No buts around it. Earn my respect if you want me to respect you. And trust me, that is something rather easy to do.
If a teacher does read this, know that i am only refering to a few bad eggs that pollute the basket.
Ye Hui Mei is damn nice.
Haven't watched the campfire video.
Need to pull myself together.
Wish someone can do it for me.
At the end of the day, the echoes of a great campfire has gone, the lights, the sounds are now consigned to memory, yet I feel, somewhat lost, somewhat confused, somewhat perplexed, somewhat puzzled.
I need a direction, a pointer to tell me to go here or there.
I treat school to be a challenge, a challenge that I have been consistently been failing to live up to.
Sighz.
Now i'm rambling.
Really wish someone would clear up the messed up me.
Unfortunately no one would.
I have to do it myself.
And only by myself.