Wanting too much too fast

There is so much I don't like about myself.
Yet there is so much to like about myself.
I wish I knew when to give up the fight, or when to say this is not what I want and go all out and change the situation.
I am not good at accepting the situation, especially when I feel very aggrieved. That is why I really despise red-tape.
And sometimes, my hot-headedness gets me into trouble with other people.
I used to think I need to do something to prove to other people how good I am.
Now I know how foolish that seems.
However, it's hard to live to only your expectations.
You get stressed seeing other people doing way better you.
I only have to look at ronald and see how small I am compared to him.
STL, double PSA, I wish I was half as good as he was.
Yet, I like being me.
I don't know where I stand in this world yet.
Maybe I will just be the atypical working class person.
Maybe the exact opposite will happen.
Who knows?
My wishes as a person are so simple.
All I want is for you to accompany me through my existence.
Argh.
This "you" again.
I am really muddled.
My heart and mind are always at conflict.
Should I listen to my heart, or my mind?
Hell.
Can I plan something?
Maybe that will take my mind of the questions I can never answer.
Or I wish not to answer them.
Because I am afraid of getting them wrong.